SUPERDAVE'S COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO INTERNET DATING FOR MEN.

[-SD-]

Due to my vast experience and gathering of empirical evidence on the activity of internet dating, I'Ve decided to give you novices a handy guide to internet dating. This guide is applicable to the majority of women's personal ads you will encounter through internet dating, but may not be absolute.

(WHAT-SHE-SAYS-HER-BODY-IS-LIKE)----(TRANSLATED)
RUBENESQUE------------------FAT

VOLUPTUOUS----------------------------FAT
SHAPELY----------------------------------------------FAT
ROTUND------------------------------------------------FAT
PLEASANTLY-PLUMP---------------------------FAT
PLUS-SIZE--------------------------------------------FAT
CAMRYN-MANHEIM-LOOKALIKE------------FAT
LANE-BRYANT-MODEL---------------------------FAT
CURVY-IN-ALL-THE-RIGHT-PLACES---------FAT
IVE-NEVER-HAD-ANY-COMPLAINTS------FAT/AND/OR-UGLY
STURDY------------------------------------------------FAT
HEALTHY-BUILD-------------------------------------FAT
WORKING-ON-MY-BODY-------------------------FAT/AND/OR-UGLY
NOT-A-SKINNY-MINNIE---------------------------FAT
NOT-A-BARBIE-DOLL-------------------------------FAT
IF-YOU-ARE-LOOKING-FOR-A-BARBIE-DOLL-SKIP-ME---FAT
PORTLY---------------------------------------------------FAT
I-AM-NOT-OBESE-IN-ANY-WAY------------------STILL-FAT
MY-BODY-IS-AN-ACQUIRED-TASTE------------FAT/UGLY/FUCKED-UP
TRYING-TO-LOSE-XX-POUNDS---------------------FAT
I-DONT-LIKE-THE-OUTDOORS----------------------PALE
JUST-PRETTY----------------------------------------FAT/UGLY/FUCKEDUP
FORMER-PROM-QUEEN/CHEERLEADER------NOT-ANYMORE,FAT/UGLY
VENUSIAN-----------------------------------------------------FAT



(WHAT-SHE-SAYS-SHE-IS-LOOKING-FOR-IN-MEN)--(TRANSLATION)
AMBITION----------------------------------------POTENTIAL-FOR-MONEY
DRIVE-----------------------------------------POTENTIAL-FOR-MONEY
WELL-EDUCATED--------------------------POTENTIAL-FOR-MONEY
HIGH-CLASS--------------------------------------------MONEY
FINANCIALLY-SECURE-----------------------------MONEY
SUCCESSFUL-------------------------------------------MONEY
APPRECIATION-FOR-FINER-THINGS-IN-LIFE-------MONEY
WINE-TASTING-EVENTS------------------------------MONEY
WELL-TRAVELED-----------------------------------------MONEY
CULTURED--------------------------------------------------MONEY
WORLDLY----------------------------------------------------MONEY
TO-TOLERATE-QUIRKINESS---------------------WANTS-A-DOORMAT
TO-TOLERATE-MOODINESS-----------------------WANTS-A-DOORMAT
LOVES-SCUBA-DIVING--------------------------------MONEY
LOVES-SAILING-------------------------------------------MONEY
FREQUENT-HORSEBACK-RIDING-----------------MONEY
LOVES-POLO-----------------------------------------------MONEY
(INSERT-ANY-EXPENSIVE-HOBBY-HERE)------MONEY
TO-TOLERATE-HER-CATS------------------SHE-IS-HIGH-MAINTENANCE
TO-SHOWER-HER-WITH-AFFECTION ---SHE-IS-HIGH-MAINTENANCE
TO-TREAT-HER-LIKE-A-PRINCESS--------HIGH-MAINTENANCE/MONEY
PROVE-THAT-YOU-CAN-BE-TRUSTED--------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE/DOORMAT
SHOULDER-TO-CRY-ON------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE/NO-SEX
TEDDY-BEAR--------------------------------------------NO-SEX
SUBSTANTIAL-MAN(?)-------------------------------MONEY
GOAL-ORIENTED---------------------------------------MONEY
GOING-SOMEWHERE-IN-LIFE-------------------MONEY
HAS-GOOD-CAREER-------------------------------MONEY
HAS-GOOD-JOB--------------------------------------MONEY
TO-EMBRACE-ALL-OF-ME--------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE/BAGGAGE
LOVE-ME-FOR-WHO-I-AM-------------------------BAGGAGE
TOLERANT----------------------------------------------DOORMAT
OPENMINDED------------------------------------------DOORMAT
SWEEP-OFF-FEET----------------------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
PUT-TOILET-SEAT-DOWN--------------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
WISK-HER-AWAY-TO-(ANY-EXPENSIVE-PLACE)-HIGH-MAINTENANCE
TO-GIVE-110%-TO-RELATIONSHIP----------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
CARING------------------------------------------------------------DOORMAT
TO-REALIZE-RELATIONSHIPS-REQUIRE-WORK--DOORMAT/HIGH-MAINTENANCE
DOESNT-TAKE-HER-FOR-GRANTED-----------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
WINE-AND-DINE-------------------------------------------MONEY
TALL-DARK-HANDSOME---------------------------------MONEY



(WHAT-SHE-SAYS-SHE-IS-LIKE)--------------(TRANSLATION)
BUBBLY--------------------------------------------STUPID
VIVACIOUS---------------------------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
WILD-------------------------------------EMOTIONAL-ISSUES/HEADCASE
PARTYGIRL---------------------------- ---EMOTIONAL-ISSUES/HEADCASE
RAISED-RELIGIOUS--------------------------------------EASY
PERKY---------------------------------------------------------STUPID
OPENMINDED------------------------------------------------EASY
CENTER-OF-ATTENTION----------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
LIFE-OF-THE-PARTY---------------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
CONSTANTLY-ON-THE-GO-------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
CAREER-ORIENTED-------------------------BITCHY-TOWARDS-MEN
SOPHISTICATED-------------------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
CLASSY-----------------------------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
ASSERTIVE--------------------------------------BITCHY-TOWARDS-MEN
FEMINIST---------------------------------------HATES-YOU/BAGGAGE
WICCAN---------------------------------------FUCKED-IN-THE-HEAD
INTELLECTUALLY-STIMULATING---------- HIGH-MAINTENANCE
LIKES-A-HEALTHY-DEBATE----------------------ARGUMENTATIVE
LIKES-A-GOOD-GAME-OF-SCRABBLE-------------BORING
LIKES-LONGWALKS-ON-THE-BEACH--------------LIAR/BORING
LIKES-SHOPPING-------------------------------UNCREATIVE/BORING
COLLECTS-SHOES--------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE/BORING
GRADUATED-(INSERT-GREEK-HONORS)-FROM-XYZ-UNIVERSITY------HIGH-MAINTENANCE/MONEY/BITCHY
SNUGGLE-BY-FIREPLACE------------------------------BORING
CANDLES-AND-BUBBLEBATHS----------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
CANDLES-ALL-OVER-THE-PLACE-------------------HIGH-MAINTENANCE
GOING-TO-RAVES------------------------------HEADCASE/BAGGAGE
HAS-KIDS-------------------------------------------BAGGAGE
LIVES-AT-HOME---------------------------------------YOUNG/STUPID
GIVES-MEASUREMENTS-------------------------EASY
MENTIONS-LIKING-SEX--------------------------EASY

 

[biteme]

Haha! HOw long did it take you to write all that? I don't have the paitence. Funny though.

 

[gonelifting]

funny, but true karma coming

 

[-SD-]

did it in ms word then cut/paste

 

[biteme]

did it in ms word then cut/paste

Does that save any time or do you still have to write it all out? I am so far behind the times.

 

[NY Muscle]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


ALL TRUE

 

[-SD-]

Does that save any time or do you still have to write it all out? I am so far behind the times.

I still had to think of it all and write it out, all it mens is that i can save it to hard drive and bring it up when I add to it.

 

[Dial_tone]

Hilarious.

 

[supersizeme]

lmao

karma for that. that had me laughing

"hates you" lol

 

[bwood]

well thought, informative list...