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napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
Research Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsResearch Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic

sunday morning sex

GoldenDelicious

New member
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, he had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Susan told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "and if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

yeah yeah so i stole it from somewhere else, so what ;)
 
The Midget with a Speech Impediment

This guy with a really bad temper owns a horse stud farm, and gets a call from a friend, who tells him, "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse and I'm sending him over." The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse.
"A female horth",the midget replies.
So the owner shows him one.
"Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouf?"
So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horses mouth.
"Nith mouf, can I thee her eyeth?"
So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horses eyes.
"OK, what about the eerth?"
Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him the ears.
"OK, Finally, can I see her twat?"
With that, the owner loses it, picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horse's vigina, then pulls him out.
Shaking his head, the midget says,
"Perhaps I thould rephrathe that. Can I thee her wun awownd?"

djufo, i apologise in advance if you get all hot and bothered by this joke
 
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