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napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
Research Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsResearch Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic

sexual calorie counter

  • Thread starter Thread starter Spartacus
  • Start date Start date
S

Spartacus

Guest
It has been known for many years
that Sex was good exercise, but until now
nobody had made a scientific study of the
caloric content of different sexual activities.
Now, after "original and proprietary"
research they are proud to present the
following results:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent ....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent .................. 2187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands ............................... 8 Calories
With one hand ................................ 12 Calories
With your teeth ............................ 485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection .............................. 6 Calories
Without an erection ................... 3315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris ................ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot ............ 4092 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary .................................. 12 Calories
69 lying down ...............................78 Calories
69 standing up ........................... 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow ............................ 216 Calories
Doggy Style .............................. 326 Calories
Italian chandelier .................... 2912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real ........................................... 112 Calories
Fake ........................................ 1315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging ..................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately ................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately ..... 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years ..................................... 36 Calories
30-39 years ..................................... 80 Calories
40-49 years ................................... 124 Calories
50-59 years ................................. 1972 Calories
60-69 years ................................. 7916 Calories
70 and over.....................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly .......................................................... 32 Calories
In a hurry ..................................................... 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door ..... 5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door .... 13,521 Calories

Results may vary
 
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