Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below Here is the deal. I am in the military and i was talking to one of my sargeants ,and the subject of piss tests came up. Mostly about them testing for THC and that,that would be the main ingrediant they look for. Then She said "Now if i thought YOU were doing Steroids( my name inserted here).. then all i have to do is write check for steroids next to your name ,and then they will check your piss for that also." I managed to keep a straight face through all of this. ((no facial expression just a ho-hum kinda-of really that sounds interesting)((NOT)). Even though i was SCREAMING on the inside"shit shit shit she know s im gonna juice they all know im gonna juice oh my god holy crap what am i gonna do?!???!However It got me thinking about what i have been told here ,and what i thought i knew and what an (officer) told me what they do . I know they have to do a blood test to make for sure but is Aas detectable in urine? I know some are but my main question is Am i fucked or do i not start my cycle? how long should i let it cool off before i start? AGRAhhh. Will there ever be a time that i can start here? Im not punching out people for looking at my food yet.
"SCREAMING" I MIGHT be BUSTED!
- Thread starter PHREAK_E
- Start date
Willyumyum
New member
Get a good buddy to piss in a tube or something and take it in with 'ya... Just an idea, I don't know how closely they watch you.
lincoln
New member
Willyumyum said:
THIS WILL NOT WORK (Not trying to flame you willy)
I asked my outprocessing doc about roids and I got a "Random" test the next day.
They have you pee at a 45 degree angle and they watch you so close you could never get away with it.
You know if you are in, then you know already that they will fry your ass if they can.
I would wait, mainly because when you start to blow up it is going to be real obvious.
I noticed that your Sarge is a she , maybe she wants to see if it true what they say about the sex drive while on juice ????
The NCAA uses urine for their test , but why would she want to test ya , I think that your just paranoid , besides if your the only person that gets tested for AS then that is discrimanation , and you could sue for that , so they would have to test everybody and that is very expensive
The NCAA uses urine for their test , but why would she want to test ya , I think that your just paranoid , besides if your the only person that gets tested for AS then that is discrimanation , and you could sue for that , so they would have to test everybody and that is very expensive
liquidmuscle
Well-known member
i wouldnt start you cycle bro,,just send it to me! lmao..in all seriousness they can detect it in urine just wait it out and see if she brings it up anymore if a month goes by and she doesnt mention it then GO FOR IT! But Carrera is wrong because the military does random tests its kinda like a lottery if you get picked then your Fuc*ed!
Dude RELAX, They will NOT test you. It must be a command directive. Are you a good Marine? or someone they would want to bust. THAT is what it is all about. I got out a year or so ago and did it plenty. SSGT/ years gulf/ CAR. RELAX Devil DOG. I KNOW!!!! you are not csaying :"SARGE"
Semper GUMBY
Semper GUMBY
i dont know what u ment by saying "Sarge" but i got of the marines and joined the army..i know big mistake bigger than starting a 2000mg test cycle with no clomid or arimidex or liquidex ..u get the idea..anyway im trying to get back in next year when this contract is up and i can re-enlist for it that is the only way they can keep me.
Man, I feel for ya bro. I have never been in the military just for those reasons. Someone telling me what not to put in my body-GEEZ!
Even if I get pulled over, I take that shit to court and have high priced lawyers take it to trial every time!
I love being an american!
p.s.> I also love the job you guys do
Thanks for protecting me bros!
Even if I get pulled over, I take that shit to court and have high priced lawyers take it to trial every time!
I love being an american!
p.s.> I also love the job you guys do
Thanks for protecting me bros!snaplink175
New member
anyone in your chain of command can request a piss test. if an O-1 goes to an O-5 and asks permission to piss test you, i bet you a pretty penny that he'll give the ok.
you gave a problem...here is a solution
put something like a small hair or small piece of fingernail in there. how does this work...it is no longer considered steril.
when i was in the army and promoted to E-5
i had the thankless duty with my peers to be a meatgazer. i didn't enjoy it.
you gave a problem...here is a solution
put something like a small hair or small piece of fingernail in there. how does this work...it is no longer considered steril.
when i was in the army and promoted to E-5
i had the thankless duty with my peers to be a meatgazer. i didn't enjoy it.
that sounds great ,however when u sign for the bottle u say there are no contaminets inside or anything wrong with the bottle. so let me get this right, u just slip a hair in side of it and then it is not considered steril and has to be thrown out? that sounds like a croc of shit but it might work... so what happenes when the next week they want to test u again cuz it didnt work and the company said they didnt get a good test result on it . would they do that ? or just move on and charge them for it anyway.?
PHREAK
PHREAK
My job has random drug testing so I know a little about the subject.
a) If you're thinking of using someone else's urine it's better be 98 degrees. The better testers check the temp.
b) They don't take your individual sample and test it. They take a small amount and throw it in with a large batch of others. If the batch comes up dirty then they start testing individual samples.
c) Drink a lot of water! The key to passing is to dilute the sample.
d) I don't know about the hair thing. These testing companies are in it for the money and if they can ignore something you can bet they will.
e) You didn't say what you were on. Many high testosterone results were fought and won. Some people have higher test levels then others. It's a hard case for them to prove. If all you're on is test you may be ok.
Stress this again DRINK A LOT OF WATER. There are many different tests. Large government agency's usually go for the cheapest ones and you have to have high concentrations to come up positive, hence DRINK A LOT OF WATER.
Genarr3
a) If you're thinking of using someone else's urine it's better be 98 degrees. The better testers check the temp.
b) They don't take your individual sample and test it. They take a small amount and throw it in with a large batch of others. If the batch comes up dirty then they start testing individual samples.
c) Drink a lot of water! The key to passing is to dilute the sample.
d) I don't know about the hair thing. These testing companies are in it for the money and if they can ignore something you can bet they will.
e) You didn't say what you were on. Many high testosterone results were fought and won. Some people have higher test levels then others. It's a hard case for them to prove. If all you're on is test you may be ok.
Stress this again DRINK A LOT OF WATER. There are many different tests. Large government agency's usually go for the cheapest ones and you have to have high concentrations to come up positive, hence DRINK A LOT OF WATER.
Genarr3
P
plifter
Guest
I don't understand why the military would care if you juice. Don't they want physically strong soldiers in combat? I think they do this drug testing crap for public image reasons.
thankyou brother, sometimes i get so paranoid that i lose my mind. i knew a guy just like me and he always denied it. talked about god and youll burn in hell for even mentioning it to him. now i think about it he was one of the biggest mo.fo.'s around and had to be juicing he was just denying it so he could get away with it. i planned on doing a aratest2500 and dbol and winny cycle so i can keep my gains. i havent cycled yet this would be a first time for me and i was waiting for the winter so we are all bundled up and mostly outside so they couldnt tell i would put on about 30 lbs. also some arimidex or liquidex for the bloat and gyno. i just got freaked out cuz i have put 11 lbs on in the last 1.5 months. and ppl are lookin @ me funny. but its all legit just protien and creatine(well 18 lbs with creatine but lost water already). thanks for listening to me scream..
PHREAK_E
PHREAK_E
Well, anyone in your chain of command can request to your Squadron commander that you be tested for steroids, but they have to have a legitimate reason for it. Just saying that he's big is not a legit reason. If you have displayed roid raging or something like that, then it is legit. Steroid testing is very expensive. Most bases/posts have to send your piss off to be tested. A steroid test is a very special one and is seldom done in the military.
The only two reasons that you will be tested is if you roid rage or if you get caught with the shit in your possession, in which case they would probably just kick you out without testing you cuz it's cheaper.
The only two reasons that you will be tested is if you roid rage or if you get caught with the shit in your possession, in which case they would probably just kick you out without testing you cuz it's cheaper.
Dude, relax. She cannot have you piss tested for roids. They basically need very good proof that you are using steroids. In fact, the military doesn't test for roids at all. Too damned expensive. If she threatens you again, request mast (or whatever the army calls it) and go to your C.O. and tell him she is harrassing you for no reason. If that don't work, take it all the way to the top.
But, I don't think you have a thing to worry about.
But, I don't think you have a thing to worry about.
Hey man, I do not know if this works for gear, but it works for all other stuff. THC, PSP, LSD, you name it, there is a way to fool the test.
I know this works, because me and my friends did it, and it was written by a doctor. What you do is drink 1oz of vinagar for every 50lbs of body weight 1.5 hrs before the test. You should drink lots of water from now till then, but drink the vinegar 1-1.5 hrs before the test. It overloads your liver or something like that, masking anything else that might be in it. Good luck!
I know this works, because me and my friends did it, and it was written by a doctor. What you do is drink 1oz of vinagar for every 50lbs of body weight 1.5 hrs before the test. You should drink lots of water from now till then, but drink the vinegar 1-1.5 hrs before the test. It overloads your liver or something like that, masking anything else that might be in it. Good luck!
S
STORM SHADOW
Guest
Military made Steroids a big deal because stupid high school kids were being interviewed on TV in the early 80's & bragged about how they can kick everybody else's ass now that they are juiced. Scared the shit out of the public & that's how legislation comes about. Then some do gooder Senator/Congressman wants to make a name for himself as being hard on crime (while he's dicking the interns & burying the bodies). That's how the story goes. So then some puke desk jockey says "hey, let's do it to the military. Those big boys are too aggressive, we need to civilize them" punk bitch.
Anyway.....I know the military. I've pissed in more bottles then you've done Gear. You can't get passed military urine tests.....that's the movies. But there is one thing I remember from the Olympics.....
Ten years ago.....maybe tech has changed....but you had to test for EACH steroid to find one. Military won't waste the time unless you suck & they want to ditch you, esp if you're gay.........bahahahahahaha......ok enough laughter. That was funny though...ok where was I? Oh....if you have a urine test coming up....all the people I know wait 'till the day after urine test to go on Steroids & then never wear muscle shirts or puff up their air lats....they just act like Joe Shmoe and nobody is the wiser.
Moral of the Story?
Act like a Body Builder.....get treated like a Body Builder....the 80's ruined it for you people that just want to do their own thing.
Sorry about us late Boomers & early X'ers.
Anyway.....I know the military. I've pissed in more bottles then you've done Gear. You can't get passed military urine tests.....that's the movies. But there is one thing I remember from the Olympics.....
Ten years ago.....maybe tech has changed....but you had to test for EACH steroid to find one. Military won't waste the time unless you suck & they want to ditch you, esp if you're gay.........bahahahahahaha......ok enough laughter. That was funny though...ok where was I? Oh....if you have a urine test coming up....all the people I know wait 'till the day after urine test to go on Steroids & then never wear muscle shirts or puff up their air lats....they just act like Joe Shmoe and nobody is the wiser.
Moral of the Story?
Act like a Body Builder.....get treated like a Body Builder....the 80's ruined it for you people that just want to do their own thing.
Sorry about us late Boomers & early X'ers.
HeavyDutyGuy
New member
She sounds like a testosterone hating lesbian.
LegBreaker
New member
I wouldn't worry to much about it.... Buy some of that clean shit from GNC and you should be fine....
Peace,
LB
Peace,
LB
S
STORM SHADOW
Guest
These guys not in the military don't get it. We're talking seriously watching you piss. You take your military jacket off so that you have no sleeves......bare arms showing.....turn 45deg. so he can see your hands & your dick at the sametime and watches you fill it up real close. Anything out of the ordinary of trying to do something is an instant Courts Martial. Don't fuck with it. In the military....it's not a civil thing.....it's a Federal Offense. Never cycle in the military until after a urin test.
hey chesty i was wondering when you were comming back on. didnt get a chance to talk to you today. i thank you all for your input and knowldege. I respect and listen to all of your awnsers. I think she was just useing me as an example cuz i am better(and slightly more built) than most ppl in my company. Even though i wanted to rip her apart for just suggesting my name anyway. I wanted to start soon but looks like i might wait a little bit. i have the feeling we have a pp test coming up pretty soon maybe it was just a way to let us know without telling us directly. However i dont know why she would do that, we pretty much hate each other. (of couse she knows i could kick her teeth in and would be glad to do so if she pissed me off too much.)
OFF TOPIC( since i have been in the Marines and the Army both ,i can talk all the smack i want !)ive been there ,done that ,have the fuckin t-shirt.like i said sometimes i just get paranoid. maybe i need something to relax me?
PHREAK_E
maybe it was just a way to let us know without telling us directly. However i dont know why she would do that, we pretty much hate each other. (of couse she knows i could kick her teeth in and would be glad to do so if she pissed me off too much.) OFF TOPIC( since i have been in the Marines and the Army both ,i can talk all the smack i want !)ive been there ,done that ,have the fuckin t-shirt.like i said sometimes i just get paranoid. maybe i need something to relax me?
PHREAK_E
Willyumyum
New member
Re: beating a drug test...
Genius! Pure. Fucking. Genius!
djregs said:
Genius! Pure. Fucking. Genius!
Maxx Out
Yes that's exactly what he means, up your ass. Any other way you would risk the chance of it falling out. You would also have to walk around with your butt cheeks clenched the entire time. In which case you would have no control over the flow. Not very pleasant, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Genarr3
Yes that's exactly what he means, up your ass. Any other way you would risk the chance of it falling out. You would also have to walk around with your butt cheeks clenched the entire time. In which case you would have no control over the flow. Not very pleasant, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Genarr3
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Parabellum
New member
el cubano said:
I got out a few years ago. So I can say using someone's else's urine probably will not work, it depends on how closely they watch you. I had testers stay at the other end of the head (bathroom) or right next to you staring at your junk.
But like most of the members stated thye will not test without a valid reason. While I was they found roids in his locker. Tested it and it turned out to be just oil. He got scammed in TJ. Never the less they nailed him for trying to use roids. He got to stay in but they just reduced his rank, restriction and pay reductions for 2 months.
There were people that were obviously on. They admitted it to me. But they were steller Marines and they kept thier noses clean. It's all in how you conduct yourself.
If you get singled out as a bad apple your fucked. They will look for any reason to fuck you.
Remember perception is reality.
couple of questions
1. How the hell do you cram a condom full of urine up your ass?
2. How the hell do you attach a rubber tube to a condom? Is there some new solder on the market?
3. If you run the rubber tube through the opening of the condom and then tie it off (which sounds a more reasonable approach) how the hell are you gonna cram that contraption full of piss up your ass? I don't know about ya'll's asses, but I get pretty worked up when my girlfiend tries probing around my asshole.
4. Provided you have somehow attached a rubber tube to a condom and managed to cram this contraption up
your ass, how the hell do you keep it from leaking? The thought of a piss enema from one of my buddies doesn't sound all that appealing or sanitary.
I'm not doubting it's been done or that a contraption couldn't be engineered to accomplish this, but until the technology rolls around the only asses I'm gonna be cramming condoms in are gonna be female.
1. How the hell do you cram a condom full of urine up your ass?
2. How the hell do you attach a rubber tube to a condom? Is there some new solder on the market?
3. If you run the rubber tube through the opening of the condom and then tie it off (which sounds a more reasonable approach) how the hell are you gonna cram that contraption full of piss up your ass? I don't know about ya'll's asses, but I get pretty worked up when my girlfiend tries probing around my asshole.
4. Provided you have somehow attached a rubber tube to a condom and managed to cram this contraption up
your ass, how the hell do you keep it from leaking? The thought of a piss enema from one of my buddies doesn't sound all that appealing or sanitary.
I'm not doubting it's been done or that a contraption couldn't be engineered to accomplish this, but until the technology rolls around the only asses I'm gonna be cramming condoms in are gonna be female.
Kidcrush
I'm familiar with the prison system. And you'd be surprised what people can get up their asses. And as far as closing the end of the tube off, easy, all you need is some cork type device. I'm not recommending this or saying it's an easy thing to do. But desperate people will do desperate things. I've been drug tested in the past had nothing to hide so the point for me is moot. But if I'd needed to this method would have worked.
Genarr3
I'm familiar with the prison system. And you'd be surprised what people can get up their asses. And as far as closing the end of the tube off, easy, all you need is some cork type device. I'm not recommending this or saying it's an easy thing to do. But desperate people will do desperate things. I've been drug tested in the past had nothing to hide so the point for me is moot. But if I'd needed to this method would have worked.
Genarr3
Hey a cork or a rubber stopper - didn't think of that.
Yeah, i've seen x-rays of guys with maglites(the big ones) stuck up their asses - so I'm not surprised what some people cram in their keisters. My questions were more directed at the functionality of the contraption itself.
Now that I have the fundamentals down we'll be going into production on the device soon.
Now if only I could think of a name for such a device................?????
Yeah, i've seen x-rays of guys with maglites(the big ones) stuck up their asses - so I'm not surprised what some people cram in their keisters. My questions were more directed at the functionality of the contraption itself.
Now that I have the fundamentals down we'll be going into production on the device soon.
Now if only I could think of a name for such a device................?????
BRO, I didn't read everyones, so if this was said sorry to waste your time. Testing for roids is very difficult and expensive because there are so much of them out there. Mainly all they test for is HGH, test. They would have to specificly test for things like deca or fina. I'm not just talking out my ass here, there is a good reason I know about this!!! GOOD LUCK BRO
When you have an assisted test, they watch pretty closely. Sometimes, though, it's an NCO from your own unit; so, you might get lucky. The military does their own testing, so cost is not really an issue.
If you haven't taken anything, yet, then don't. Wait until you get tested. If you're itching for some right now, then risk it. Buy some of that 19-Norandro or whatever and keep it in your desk at work. So, if ever questioned, pull the puppy out and act dumb. "I didn't think that it'll affect me that way, Sarge..."
good luck
If you haven't taken anything, yet, then don't. Wait until you get tested. If you're itching for some right now, then risk it. Buy some of that 19-Norandro or whatever and keep it in your desk at work. So, if ever questioned, pull the puppy out and act dumb. "I didn't think that it'll affect me that way, Sarge..."
good luck
