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Yes ok, I don't really know where to write this..
I have had three boyfriends my entire life, and after writing all of this I'm sure Ill feel really silly. and as a note: I am 18 years old. this post may make me sound a little bit younger... haha.
I went to Denny's with my boyfriend of three months. For three or four-ish months I think ive been in more fights than one can dream of. Anything from finding out about disgusting inside jokes him and his female coworkers make, to... checking girls out when we are at dinner.. to not being all that attracted to him and thinking about ending things every once in awhile.
Girl being checked out, being the waitress, who is my very First boyfriend's ex. So yes! How awkward. I live in a small town...
So my mood was kinda down hill from there. I dont have too many female friends I can talk about this with.. I try to shrug it off. I think that's what other girls do in this situation. what do you do when you're dating someone your NOT SURE your that attracted to, and is checking other people out? Maybe I was utterly disgusted because i dont have much experience with this... I dunno.. Usually we have a great time, and enjoy ourselves but when it involves going out where theres a lot of people, its just damn! We've only talked about this once, and I really did not want to bring it up. He said "I have no reason to check out other girls" I just blinked. I in no way want to sound like a psychotic girlfriend, but.. doesnt that sound a little bit like he is telling me what I want to hear? All heterosexual guys check girls out. Taken or not. So I have this little tinge of anger because of what he said.
And then theres me. I'm not afraid to say it.. if he wasnt there i'd probably be checking her out too. I dont know why. I don't think that considers me bisexual? I think I can admire another girl without having sexual thoughts.. but having my boyfriend admire another girl infront of me.. man. Is it silly of me to be this worried about this?
I have had three boyfriends my entire life, and after writing all of this I'm sure Ill feel really silly. and as a note: I am 18 years old. this post may make me sound a little bit younger... haha.
I went to Denny's with my boyfriend of three months. For three or four-ish months I think ive been in more fights than one can dream of. Anything from finding out about disgusting inside jokes him and his female coworkers make, to... checking girls out when we are at dinner.. to not being all that attracted to him and thinking about ending things every once in awhile.
Girl being checked out, being the waitress, who is my very First boyfriend's ex. So yes! How awkward. I live in a small town...
So my mood was kinda down hill from there. I dont have too many female friends I can talk about this with.. I try to shrug it off. I think that's what other girls do in this situation. what do you do when you're dating someone your NOT SURE your that attracted to, and is checking other people out? Maybe I was utterly disgusted because i dont have much experience with this... I dunno.. Usually we have a great time, and enjoy ourselves but when it involves going out where theres a lot of people, its just damn! We've only talked about this once, and I really did not want to bring it up. He said "I have no reason to check out other girls" I just blinked. I in no way want to sound like a psychotic girlfriend, but.. doesnt that sound a little bit like he is telling me what I want to hear? All heterosexual guys check girls out. Taken or not. So I have this little tinge of anger because of what he said.
And then theres me. I'm not afraid to say it.. if he wasnt there i'd probably be checking her out too. I dont know why. I don't think that considers me bisexual? I think I can admire another girl without having sexual thoughts.. but having my boyfriend admire another girl infront of me.. man. Is it silly of me to be this worried about this?
Sometimes I feel like he's sinking into the friend catagory though. He's an awsome guy.. and can make anyone laugh, but as far as physical attraction, he has a "baby face" I guess thats what its called.. and as shallow as it is, weight. 
I worry about his health sometimes and used to try to get him to go to the gym with me. And about the self esteem, I know that must be it. I havent been to the gym in awhile, and when I did go, this never used to be an issue...my whole attitude was different. It was all easier to shrug off... and I wouldnt feel as though other girls are the spotlight when I'm with him.
