need legal advice kind of!! Help!

[nutsnack]

i have a 2 year old son who i had raised until he was 5 months old. i raised him with his mother.. she thought i was a bad parent for certain reasons -- that i dont blame her for and she up and moved to florida. she recently got engaged and tells me that her fiance / future husband is going to be legally adopting my son since he will be the primary care taker of him.

WTF!?! is this legal? I havent seen the kid for a year and a half b/c of her --not my choice... she never returned my calls once i finally got her number and i had NO idea where she lived other then florida! someone help me and tell me if this is allowed or wtf i should do? other then take her to court cuz child custody battles end up taking YEARS!

 

[Sub-Zero]

let it go.

you fucked up, just hope ur kid is happy and healthy

 

[nutsnack]

let it go.

you fucked up, just hope ur kid is happy and healthy

ok worth while advice would help not from a 17 year old virgin!

 

[nutsnack]

ok worth while advice would help not from a 17 year old virgin!

.. k for advice damnit this is driving me insane!!!

 

[Sub-Zero]

ok worth while advice would help not from a 17 year old virgin!

this 17 year old virgin wouldnt fuck up his life enough to drive away his wife and infant child.


you can start a whole legal battle that will last years and fuck with this kids life and make everyones lives invovled hell (and still probably end up without him because of you being an unsuitable father)

or you can recognize that where he is now hell grow up with a loving father figure, and mother in a stable household.


ask yourself: are you doing this to get back at your babymama, or do you desperately need your child in order to continue living.



if you answered the 2nd one then ask yourself:
whats more important, your feelings, or your childs wellbeing.

learn from your mistakes and grow stronger and better from them

 

[squatpuke]

Sorry to hear about your troubles nutsack...

You mentioned you screwed up...w/o know the details it's hard giving you advice.

As for me, my kids are my life....my wife and I are/have been battling each other for 15 years (we're still together, it's just not like the Cleavers though), but if she ran off with the kids (unless for their safety), I would freak....no matter the cost, I would fight for them.

I'm not a lawyer, but if you've got the cash, I think you should invest it in at least talking to someone professionally about this issue...you'll hate yourself later if you don't.

 

[Smurfy]

he cant adopt your son without the courts terminating your parental rights first. you must be notified by the courts of the proceedings. they have to have grounds for termination. i would fight her.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

been a year and a half. Doesn't seem like you're in much of a rush...

 

[lundmaster]

There are two types of custody rights.. You can be the primary (legal) guardian or non-legal guardian. When you go to court, fight to remain the primary legal guardian. Its that simple, you can't have one person adopt a child and terminate another persons rights to the child. Thats just silly!

 

[-SD-]

This is difficult for you, but you need to consider the likelyhood of the childs well being in a loving, intact, two parent home. As opposed to you fighting them in a protracted legal battle and thereby causing damage/confusion to your child. Just from the information youve given here youve only been in the childs life for 5 months, which means the mother could pick up and start over with someone else which would greatly benefit the child to have a two parent household with a mother and father. Since it was only 5 months the child wont ever remember who you were anyhow.
One more thing that I know is tough to think about is that any man that is willing to adopt someone else's child in order to make a family work has top notch character and has the childs and mothers best interests in mind.
Some things shouldnt be messed with and this is probably one of them bro. My vote would be to terminate your parental rights.
The damage and confusion to the child would far outweigh the emotional benefit you would receive from any sort of parental custody and contact.