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I think I started one of the first threads in this forum when it was created and havent really been back since then, but someone's thread caught my eye and I wanted to mention a few things about pickups.
Society has socialized all of us to usually expect the guy to do the approach, so they do. That puts certain pressures on them and other ones on us. You guys already know all the concerns you have because of your role in this, but here's a few of our's.
Blowing off guys is no fun, and no I dont mean giving head. If they're an asshole you have to deal with their attude, and if they're nice guys you have to deal with potentially hurting their feelings. Also, many of us arent comfortable with approaching men. We never really learned how and we're way out of our comfort zone. So even if we really like a guy, we may never approach him. And if we do approach and get blown off, it is a MAJOR slam to our ego, since we're bred from little girls to expect that guys are always good to go, so if they dont want us, we must be totally undesirable. Also, even if the guy doesnt blow us off, he is more likely to expect sex because we're often seen as easy lays if we do the approaching.
Honestly, having been on this side of the game, I'd prefer to be in your position and be the one who does the approaching, because it SUCKS to constantly be required to turn people down. So many take it personally, and it very seldom is personal.
You guys get to sit and pick and choose which woman to approach. Just keep trying one after one, until it happens. In most clubs there are more of use than of you anyway so just keep trying.
Society has socialized all of us to usually expect the guy to do the approach, so they do. That puts certain pressures on them and other ones on us. You guys already know all the concerns you have because of your role in this, but here's a few of our's.
Blowing off guys is no fun, and no I dont mean giving head. If they're an asshole you have to deal with their attude, and if they're nice guys you have to deal with potentially hurting their feelings. Also, many of us arent comfortable with approaching men. We never really learned how and we're way out of our comfort zone. So even if we really like a guy, we may never approach him. And if we do approach and get blown off, it is a MAJOR slam to our ego, since we're bred from little girls to expect that guys are always good to go, so if they dont want us, we must be totally undesirable. Also, even if the guy doesnt blow us off, he is more likely to expect sex because we're often seen as easy lays if we do the approaching.
Honestly, having been on this side of the game, I'd prefer to be in your position and be the one who does the approaching, because it SUCKS to constantly be required to turn people down. So many take it personally, and it very seldom is personal.
You guys get to sit and pick and choose which woman to approach. Just keep trying one after one, until it happens. In most clubs there are more of use than of you anyway so just keep trying.
