Lady Gaga, Barack O and Common walk into a bar

[Spartacus]

and settle in for some drinkin'
who picks up the tab?

 

[bigpokey]

gawdamnit what in the motherfuk of a goddamnit

 

[ceo]

Obama of course...then he charges it to the American people.

 

[mrplunkey]

Obama of course...then he charges it to the American people.

^^^ this

But Barry buys drinks for himself and everyone else in the bar. Then he puts it on our tab.

Then when we complain, he explains that those people haven't had adequate access to drinks over the years and that him buying them a drink will actually save us money over 10 years.

Then USA Today and the NYT will run a story explaining what a bold and magnanimous gesture Barry has made by making the tough decision to save us money over the next decade.

 

[chaos13]

haha, common is such a random person to put in that group

 

[EarthRider]

This is some funny stuff, I like it. So sad that is it not just a joke, but true. K to everyone, lol

 

[mrbeverage]

and settle in for some drinkin'
who picks up the tab?

well. Lady Gaga wouldnt so it because she is a diva and well..... diva's dont pick up checks, little people do.
Obama would want to "spread" the check around, even though he had 5 drinks, he would expect the others to chip in even though they only had one.
Common would pick up the check maybe.... but would definitely "stiff" the bartender.

and last
Charlie Sheen wouldnt because, he would be in the bathroom screwing the cocktail waitress while the check is being presented.

so they would most likely all skip out on the damn thing.

 

[nefertiti]

well. Lady Gaga wouldnt so it because she is a diva and well..... diva's dont pick up checks, little people do.
Obama would want to "spread" the check around, even though he had 5 drinks, he would expect the others to chip in even though they only had one.
Common would pick up the check maybe.... but would definitely "stiff" the bartender.

and last
Charlie Sheen wouldnt because, he would be in the bathroom screwing the cocktail waitress while the check is being presented.

so they would most likely all skip out on the damn thing.

titcr

Well done, sir.

 

[SpyWizard]

I'm buying but only while I do nasty stuff to GAGA and make barry hold her hair..

 

[ceo]

^^^ this

But Barry buys drinks for himself and everyone else in the bar. Then he puts it on our tab.

Then when we complain, he explains that those people haven't had adequate access to drinks over the years and that him buying them a drink will actually save us money over 10 years.

Then USA Today and the NYT will run a story explaining what a bold and magnanimous gesture Barry has made by making the tough decision to save us money over the next decade.

This reminds me of Aesop's "The Ant and the Grasshopper"

Remember the ant and the grasshopper?

OLD VERSION . . .

The ant works hard, in the withering heat, all summer long.
He builds his house and stores supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool.
He laughs, dances and plays the summer away, preparing nothing for the coming winter.

Winter comes, the ant is safe and warm.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

The moral to the story being: BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NEW VERSION . . . (sad but true)

The ant works hard, in the withering heat, all summer long.
He builds his house and stores supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks that the ant is a fool.
He laughs, dances and plays the summer away, preparing nothing for the coming winter.

Winter comes, the ant is safe and warm.
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and fed, while others are cold and starving!

CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of shivering grasshoppers, next to a video of an ant in his comfortable home, with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast! How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer this way?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah, with the grasshopper.
Everyone cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green".

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where the news stations film the group singing "We Shall Overcome".
Jesse then has the group pray for the grasshopper's sake, and reminds the group to contribute to his group, so that he can "continue the fight" for grasshoppers, everywhere!

Barack Obama & Nancy Pelosi exclaim, in an interview with Tom Brokaw, that the ant has gotten rich, off the back of the poor grasshopper!
Both call for an immediate tax hike, to make the ant pay "his fair share"!

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity For Grasshoppers Act", retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire the proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his house is confiscated by the government.

Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper, in a defamation suit against the ant.
The case is tried in federal court, with a jury comprised of unemployed welfare recipients.

Surprise! The ant loses the case!

The story ends, as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food, while the government house he lives in (which happens to be the ant's old house) crumbles around him, due to lack of maintenance!

The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found, dead, in a drug-related incident.
The house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders, who terrorize this once-peaceful neighborhood.

The moral of this version? Don't vote for Democrats or liberals.