Kids...!!!

[The Ranger]

I think they're too many kids in the world right now......You have to earn the right from childhood to adulthood.

How dare he say???

PLAYGROUNDS

Pure and simple....Good Ole Fashioned 70's style PLAYGROUNDS.

Not these fairy tail wonderlands he have today. Where there's powdery, soft sand, or scented wood chips.

Naw Baby-Doll....

I'm talking asphalt....Yes sir, hard as fuck, skin your goddamn knees, bust your head, break your fucking bones, hot as holy hell...ASPHALT.

That's why when you young'uns see us 30 and over crowd talking about scars and broken bones....We earned every damn one.

BUT.....Let us not forget the Teeter-Tooter shall we....Invented by some German Back-Quack....Or often refered to as the fat-fuckers revenge. Though I have seen, many, many times, it used as a means to launch the class midget into space....heh heh heh.

Monkey Bars!!!!!....Sit down young'uns....Monkey bars back in the day were 12 stories tall....And some fucking clown decided to shape it like a rocket for shits and giggles...May that bastard rot in hell!!!....And some smart ass 12th grader always got a kick out of smearing the top bar with vasoline....I hope you die too....

Slides....Yeah Right Babe....Pull my finger and I'll whistle jingle bells for ya too....Slides today....attached to one side of the swing I might add.....2 FEET TALL.....2 FEET mind you....Back in the day....We called that a ramp!!!......Us old broken fuckers remember that gem! We fucking invented vert....difference is....they got rich, we got broken bones showing them how to do it....heh heh heh

OUR SLIDES....Our Slides were 6 stories tall....Solid, shiney, hot, mid-July, leave burn scars... METAL....Not slanted....true verticle....Ladies remember this polyester, short pants, summertime, wonder....heh heh heh

Hey....How about Lawn Darts.....Hehh heh heh....Remember this classic piece....Take sharpened dart, attach areo-dynamic wings, walk backwards 20 feet....then toss in the direction of your asshole cousin Bobby's feet....I think there was a few other parts....something about a plastic rings....well, anyway it ended up in an asswhupping and another scar...

Bikes, ramps, skateboards, even shit that hasn't been invented yet....we did that to dammit....Cause we got SCARS...We did that shit, barefooted, no shin guards, elbow pads, knee pads, helment....Naw Sir...We did it flat out....And stayed scabby for it most of the summer as well....

So go back to your playstation(We called it PONG...did that shit to)....Then watch Survivor and mutter how you could do that shit...Yup....We invented Survivor too...But, back in the day....We called it a backyard camp out....Hehh heh heh hehjh

See...The shit you watch and wish you could do...been there...done that, and now we're adults....And bery, beryy, toned(In Elmer Fudd voice)

Goodnight....That is all....

Ranger

 

[naturally anabolic]

you are getting too old my friend.......time for arts and crafts...

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

Agree! No more kids unless they can have playground battle scars like The Ranger and the Dcup! Sorry Mommies and Daddies you have to get rid of your kids! It is the humane thing to do! The non playground pain they will experiance is just to cruel! Man do I miss Bicycle tag, BB gun Wars, Rock fights, and Smear The Queer!

PS lawn darts are the shit! Almost ended the Dcup as an eight year old, but it was well worth it!

 

[Citruscide]

Schweeeeet.

C-ditty

 

[The Ranger]

Fcuk Yes....Stand up parents....UNITE I tell ya....Remember the kinda shit we got for Christmas and Birthdays...???

Wrist-Rockets and Red Ryder BB Guns....For what dare the young'uns ask???

Why to do battle against each other...And our parents knew...All they ever said was..." Don't shot at the eyes! "

And what the fuck do you think was the first thing we aimed at....heh heh heh

Bowl Two....

Ranger

 

[DcupSheepNipples]

Schweeeeet.

C-ditty

Evil lawyers and PC laws are the enemy! Save The Children! Fight the power!

http://www.imgmag.com/images/vel/sahafcit.jpg

 

[HANSEL]

So go back to your playstation(We called it PONG...did that shit to)....Then watch Survivor and mutter how you could do that shit...Yup....We invented Survivor too...But, back in the day....We called it a backyard camp out....Hehh heh heh hehjh

Ranger

Great post man. Its just so true, Whenever I go anywhere with my mother she is always asking where all the kids are? and why arent they out playing? And I begin to explain that they are all sitting home paying video games and watching TV. Kids dont know how to have a good time anymore, its sad.

 

[The Ranger]

Shit man, they didn't even have cures for the kinda diseases we had back in the day.....so we fucking cured ourselves.....

No one remembers flip-flop toes....We Do.....Our flip-flops back in the day were rubber, with a plastic razor blade between your toes....You's be out wlaking trying to act like the shit....and some cocksucker would walk up behind you and step on your heel...the forward momentum would cause the rest of the foot to snap forward at warp speed....thus splitting the toes webbing from toe joint to knee cap.....

Cured by an 8th grade girl who put toilet paper between her toes...and BANG!!!

Yup....We invented that to....

Heh heh heh heh

Bowl three


Ranger

 

[frorider6]

Hell fucking yes!!!

The current 18 year olds think they invented "extreme". What a bunch of horse shit.

Here's how we played lawn darts. My buddy and I would stand about 40-50 feet apart. 1 person would have both darts. The first dart was thrown as high as you could on a arc that would hit close to the other guy. You threw the other dart as hard as you could on a much shallower angle, also trying to hit the guy, and trying to make sure both darts hit at the same time. The whole purpose of the game was to survive. We even had a wooden fence as a backstop on 1 side and as dull as those darts were, often times 1 dart would hit the fence and stick in about an inch or 2. Now, THAT'S a good fucking time!

Skateboarding! They have all these same little parks with all sorts of padding now. We had a freshly paved long ass hill in the middle of my neighborhood. The goal... SURVIVE! Start at the top and haul ass all the way down. At the bottom of the hill was a "T" intersection where not only did cars drive by, but the road changed to a rougher gravel. IF you could make the turn onto the road you were at the top of another hill only on rougher pavement. HELMETS???? We don't need no stinking helmets!!!! You were a god if you could do the whole course without bailing out. (Which I could do )

Street Luge? BAH!!! We invented it. When we mastered the downhill run, we started doing sitting down on our old ass skateboards!!!

I live my life by 1 simple motto "Chicks dig scars"

 

[The Ranger]

Wind surfing....heh heh heh...

1 wagon
2 broom handles
1 large sheet
1 huge ass hill
and
last
of all
1 big double dare....

Wind surfing, sky diving, and sky acrobatics in one 15 second decent....

We done it all, and did it our way baby....heh heh heh

Breather.....<pant>

Ranger