Hello, help appreciated - from men and women here

[digimon7068]

I can hear the advice from Puddles--- " The moment a woman marries, some terrible revolution happens in her system;all her good qualities vanish, presto,like eggs out of a conjuror's box. 'Tis true that they appear on the other side of the box, but for her husband they are gone forever."

you're wearing too may clothes

oh. . .and i don't think this thread's even remotely real. . .other than the part where you're wearing too may clothes. . .

 

[Wulfgar]

Hi, I'm going through a serious event in my life - serious help/comments are appreciated.

I am 33 years old, married for about 2 years 5 months, my wife is 31. Unfortunately our marriage has for most of the time and particularly right now focused on one thing - money.

When I met my wife in November 2004, I had never been married, she had been divorced once.

We clicked straight away, moved in together one week after meeting, got married 11 months later.

When I first met my wife, my personal income was only 30k, not much but it steadily improved - I carried no debt and was a prudent spender and saver, 15k wedding costs were covered by me, 20k trip to see her family covered by me as well. My wife had at least 40k of personal debt at the start, still has more than 20k of it left right now, I have never seen her loan statements, I am not sure how much she owes.

My wife has her own job, earns about 33k now, and has always paid her loans herself (leaving little/nothing for household spending). She has also supported her family.

Last year I started a new job that greatly improved my income - 110k per year, more than I have ever earned - it should be noted that this job includes 70-85 hours per week work. My wife throughout this time has been a good housewife, most domestic chores are left to her. As well as pushing me, sometimes very forcefully, to get ahead in my job.

Unfortunately her spending has greatly increased with my increased earning, supporting her overseas family (none of her brothers and sisters work) has increased from $500 per month to more than $1000 per month, she occasionally gambles (up to $1500 at once) and sometimes overspends on shopping for herself.

Until now we have only managed to save up 20k - I don't drink, smoke or have any expensive hobbies (no, not even gear) I just go to the gym (when I still can) and spend maybe $250 a month on supplements.

My wife's dream is to buy our own house.

It's my dream, too, but at the right time.

House prices have tripled since 2004. Average house price 470k, I think.

My company was bought out 2 months ago - heavy restructuring has taken place. Last week my position was cut, I was given a new position - that only earns 60-70k pa (but I still have to do almost the same thing).

I decided this week, or more precisely today, that it is not the right time for us to buy a house. I told my wife we should wait at least one more year, interest rates here are very high right now, mortgage defaults are at an all time high. We need a greater deposit and more income.

My wife announced (3 hours ago) to me that she will divorce me tomorrow.

She also up-ended the living room table, threw a chair and tried to smash up the kitchen. She did not hit me, but she has in the past, I have had two mental breakdowns this year (from stress caused by her abuse), I have never hit or become physical with my wife.

Right now she is asleep, tomorrow we are supposed to be driving to the family court for a divorce, she decided that I need to leave our place, even though I am the one paying the lease and all our bills.

In fact only my income for the past several years has been used to cover all our living expenses, hers is spent however she sees fit. Yet, through that time it is the stability of marriage and the pushing of my wife that has allowed me to become more financially successful. She is the Cock in my life.

I don't know where to go from here.

I really don't.

You tell me?

I agree. because she is fucking you

 

[aeolianraceteam]

Remove whatever it is that causes one to be ill externally and rebuild the esteem that allows the soul and spirit to thrive. Live life as if it was your last moment without any regrets and the answer will manifest.

 

[digimon7068]

Remove whatever it is that causes one to be ill externally and rebuild the esteem that allows the soul and spirit to thrive. Live life as if it was your last moment without any regrets and the answer will manifest.

. . .and don't be a f00king alter. . .like this guy ^^^^

 

[velvett]

Listen, you need to nip this behavior immediately or start saving for your divorce.

You guys have to sit down and have a calm, clear and nor offensive/defensive conversation about money in and money out, money towards old debt and new large purchases and come to a finalized agreement about it that is mutually agreeable between you both or this marriage will fail.

Break out all your bills and debt and sit down and figure out what the plan is to get want you both want. Marriage is like a business, if no one can agree about the money or take control over the spending and earning that business will go under.

Do it now.

 

[-SD-]

Your problem began with "moving in after knowing her a week"

 

[digimon7068]

Your problem began with being an alter and telling a really shitty story

fixed

 

[velvett]

When I first met my wife, my personal income was only 30k, not much but it steadily improved - I carried no debt and was a prudent spender and saver, 15k wedding costs were covered by me, 20k trip to see her family covered by me as well. My wife had at least 40k of personal debt at the start, still has more than 20k of it left right now, I have never seen her loan statements, I am not sure how much she owes.

That is just ridiculous!

You can't blow or agree to blow money like that when you are starting out and do not have it to spend.

I am not critizing you but that is a big sign of trouble ahead.

A holiday more expensive than a wedding?
To visit family?

What did you do take their family to a Villa in Tuscany for the week?

If you have too big of heart you better get yourself an accountant that's not afraid to set the record straight in black and white to you wife.

 

[-SD-]

LOL @ 20K to visit her family. Are they from a known terrorist state or something?

 

[the_alcatraz]

what foreign country?

on the 1-10 scale where is she?

lol @ the 1-10 scale