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Had an argument after class with a female friend about steroid use...she asked me why I want to continue to use when I am "Big enough" and "She likes the way I look and am sure lots of other girls do too" and "Girls don't like huge muscles, I don't understand why you still need to use".
I tried to explain to her that what I do, I do for myself and because I enjoy the lifestyle, and whether or not a female finds my physique to be their "ideal" or not is not what I'm going to base my choices upon, but it is hard to explain to someone why you do this if they are not part of the "Brotherhood", if you want to call it that.
She didn't really have any valid arguments as to why I shouldn't use...but she did say one thing that made me think a bit...it was something along the lines of "Where does it stop? Is your self esteem THAT low?". Now it wasn't the self-esteem part that bothered me, as I do not have low-self esteem, Hell I was wearing a Superman T-shirt when this conversation happened. If anything I probably come off a tad arrogant I'd imagine...not that I mean to.
The thing that stuck with me was the "Where does it stop?" part. When I first started planning out cycles I told myself "Three Cycles man, no more than that."...well...a year later and I honestly get giddy just thinking about the next time I will be able to cycle. If you knew me in real life you'd understand how out of character it is for me to be "giddy". It's something I enjoy doing and look foward to - and I cannot wait until the next one. I doubt I will stop at under 6-8 cycles.
I thought about it longer and realized that there has never been a point in time where I have been completely happy with the way my body was or is...There is always a muscle that can be better developed or bodyfat to be lost...no matter what I never view myself as "completed" I guess. It is weird because I had never put that much thought into this before...I just lifted because I liked to lift, and I liked making progress and becoming better and stronger. Steroids were just the natural progression, no pun intended.
I'm not sure what my point is other than that I am now questioning myself as to if I will ever be truly content with my body...so much of what I do is tied to body image. I guess I'm just wondering if any of you guys feel the same "incomplete" way...and if you had in the past when did it stop mattering so much?
I tried to explain to her that what I do, I do for myself and because I enjoy the lifestyle, and whether or not a female finds my physique to be their "ideal" or not is not what I'm going to base my choices upon, but it is hard to explain to someone why you do this if they are not part of the "Brotherhood", if you want to call it that.
She didn't really have any valid arguments as to why I shouldn't use...but she did say one thing that made me think a bit...it was something along the lines of "Where does it stop? Is your self esteem THAT low?". Now it wasn't the self-esteem part that bothered me, as I do not have low-self esteem, Hell I was wearing a Superman T-shirt when this conversation happened. If anything I probably come off a tad arrogant I'd imagine...not that I mean to.
The thing that stuck with me was the "Where does it stop?" part. When I first started planning out cycles I told myself "Three Cycles man, no more than that."...well...a year later and I honestly get giddy just thinking about the next time I will be able to cycle. If you knew me in real life you'd understand how out of character it is for me to be "giddy". It's something I enjoy doing and look foward to - and I cannot wait until the next one. I doubt I will stop at under 6-8 cycles.
I thought about it longer and realized that there has never been a point in time where I have been completely happy with the way my body was or is...There is always a muscle that can be better developed or bodyfat to be lost...no matter what I never view myself as "completed" I guess. It is weird because I had never put that much thought into this before...I just lifted because I liked to lift, and I liked making progress and becoming better and stronger. Steroids were just the natural progression, no pun intended.
I'm not sure what my point is other than that I am now questioning myself as to if I will ever be truly content with my body...so much of what I do is tied to body image. I guess I'm just wondering if any of you guys feel the same "incomplete" way...and if you had in the past when did it stop mattering so much?
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