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Panning for a partner
Want to land a rich guy? Here's
how the city's gold diggers do it
http://www.nydailynews.com/03-17-2005/city_life/story/290540p-248703c.html
BY BRITTANY SCHAEFFER
The author tries her hand at picking up a rich man (or at least some free drinks) at a Jazz at Lincoln Center benefit last week.
Two starry-eyed singles hit it off at the Hotel Gansevoort, a gold-digging hot spot.
When Erica, 25, steps into a bar crowded with businessmen, she sees more than pressed suits and polished Italian leather shoes. She envisions a beach house in St. Barts A wardrobe stocked with Louboutins and Choos. Ten-carat Harry Winston diamond earrings - all over-the-top luxuries out of reach of most people. But Erica (who, like all the women in this story, requested her last name not be used), wasn't born with a trust fund. And she doesn't let a low-paying public relations job keep her from expecting such fineries one day. She exclusively dates men with money, and her exes include a roster of men in finance with degrees from top business schools.
And she's not alone - scores of New York women who weren't born rich are cashing in on free drinks, dinners and yes, even diamonds, by seeking out wealthy men.
"Some say that it's the desire to continue to live in the lifestyle they were brought up in," says Erica, "Others say it's about getting power in what's generally a man-friendly economic climate, others that they simply want nice things. I think it's about all of the above."
Sarah, 27, who works in publishing and waits tables on weekends to make ends meet, generally hits up exclusive bars and clubs like Frederick's and SoHo House two or three times a week with a group of girlfriends for cocktails, and to find cute, wealthy guys.
"I'm not getting any younger and I need someone who is going in the right direction in life," says Sarah. "I will not date an artist of any sort."
Tricks of the trade
At a charity ball at Jazz at Lincoln Center last week, Sarah dressed in a stunning floor-length gown, sipped Champagne and attracted the attention of scores of tuxedo-clad men. They complimented her faux-diamond earrings ("I wish they were real," she laughs), and one man, who recently relocated from London, proclaimed that she was the first woman he intended to date in NYC. While he, and some of the others got blown off (too young, not straight, balding), she chatted up many of them, and ended up landing a dinner at Union Square's chichi Strip House the following week, courtesy of one of her suitors.
The trend is nothing new (and perhaps not surprising in the face of a burgeoning luxury market and glossy magazines that advertise just how well the other half lives). The difference now is that for many young, educated women, dating rich doesn't have as much to do with social standing and security as it does with experiencing the finer things in life. Women like Sarah even see scoring free dinners at fancy restaurants and gifts like an Hermes scarf (which she promptly sold on eBay) as engaging in a reverse feminism, of sorts.
"If a guy can go out and use a girl, why can't a girl do the same thing?" says Sarah. "Especially when you know he doesn't want anything more from you than to just take you to a restaurant, show you off, try to sleep with you and call you up in two weeks for another dinner - solely because he has nothing else to do and no one else to go out with that night."
While desperate guys are infamous for throwing one-liners at pretty girls, these ladies rarely approach men, and favor the more subtle tactic of winning attention simply by looking hot. Beyond keeping every hair in place, they squeeze into body-hugging jeans and dresses, and often wear identifiable designer pieces - a Gucci clutch, a pair of pricey Hudson jeans. But girls like Sarah and Erica know that the real secret to landing a wealthy man, is location, location, location.
"Frederick's, Biltmore Room, SoHo House, steakhouses or any private club that I cannot get into," says Sarah. "And any bars across from investment banks."
Sarah, who has been compared with Brooke Burke and frequently is mistaken for a model, is often asked out by older, wealthy men. On a Monday evening at the Bull & Bear - the Waldorf-Astoria bar - a few 40-plus men approach her as she sips a glass of white wine. They hand her their cards - a move intended to impress, as it immediately conveys the bearer's important title and financial status.
Erica says she sees plenty of guys doing the same thing, aware now more than ever that some girls are impressed by high rollers.
Show her the money, tactfully
"If he announces how well-off he is, I'll think he is a real Neanderthal and that no matter how big his bonus is, he'll never have enough money to buy himself a modicum of class," says Erica. "But, I'll still flirt outrageously with him because I know he will at least buy all my drinks for the night."
But while some men seem comfortable playing sugar daddy, others, like Alex Valerio, a 26-year-old in fashion marketing who divides his time between New York and Paris, say that they like to keep their cash under wraps.
Valerio, whose parents own a pure-bred Arabian horse farm and an international housewares company, recently ended a six-month relationship after he began to feel that his girlfriend was using him for his dough.
"We'd travel everywhere together, and I'd buy her gifts," he explains. "But I began to realize that she didn't like me, so much as she liked the life I could provide her with."
He promptly dropped the girl, and now waits several months into a relationship before revealing that he's got so much money that he doesn't have to work at all. He says he wants to find someone who's in love with him.
But many gold diggers say that just because they want a guy who's wealthy doesn't mean that they don't want a happy, meaningful relationship, too.
"You can have it all," says Sarah.
Of course, women like Sarah and Erica are not only acutely aware of not only the stigma, but also the possible reality of dating and marrying for money.
"Marrying a man for money is a gamble at best," says Erica. "You trade yourself for someone you don't love, a lifestyle that will probably be vacuous, with friends who don't care about you."
And although the label "gold digger" is an ugly one, Erica doesn't mind.
"It's more acceptable, indeed even expected, for a woman to want a man with money. It's a consumer-based society - the biggest house, the fastest car, the most extravagant vacations," she says. "This is a culture that revels in excess and hardly ever advocates moderation on any level, and we all buy into it."
* * *
Where the 'Diggers' go
Location is everything in New York - especially when it comes to landing Richie Rich - and these spots are known for attracting wealthy, eligible men. Happy hunting!
FREDERICK'S 8 W. 58th St., at Fifth Ave., (212) 752-6200. Good-looking women and guys with bucks are welcome.
THE BULL & BEAR 301 Park Ave., at 49th St., (212) 872-4900. Attracts wealthy older men.
MARQUEE 289 10th Ave., at 27th St., (646) 473-0202. You either have to be a somebody or a rich man to get into this exclusive club.
ULYSSES 58 Stone St., at Hanover Square, (212) 482-0400. Frequented by Wall Street types.
DON HILL'S 511 Greenwich St., at Spring St., (212) 219-2850. Bankers line up at the bar here Thursday nights.
HOTEL GANSEVOORT BAR 18 Ninth Ave., at 13th St., (212) 206-6700. In the middle of the Meatpacking District, this is where hip hunks hang out.
Celebs who struck gold - big time!
These gals secured luxurious lifestyles when they married money. While all claim they wed for love, when saying "I do" comes with a bank account that allows for jet-setting, millions in baubles and homes wherever they'd like, who'd question their motives?
When former Guess? model Anna Nicole Smith, then 26, wed oil magnate J. Howard Marshall in 1994, tongues started wagging. Not surprising, given that Marshall was a wheelchair-bound, 89-year-old billionaire. When Marshall died, Smith became embroiled in a lawsuit with Marshall's son, who claimed the former stripper didn't deserve a dime of his dad's estate. The case is ongoing, and Smith - who has $88.5 million at stake - vows to take her fight to the Supreme Court, if necessary.
Melinda French was a Microsoft marketing exec when she met the company's founder, Bill Gates. The pair wed in 1994, and it's fair to say that French's stock value increased exponentially, Gates being the richest man in the world and all.
Sure, 34-year-old Slovenian Melania Knauss was a model before she married Donald Trump in January. But it's unlikely that her mannequin salary even came close to Trump's multimillions.
Marrying Jets football player Mark Gastineau landed Lisa Gastineau big bucks and media exposure. Now divorced, she and daughter Brittany have finagled their own reality TV show, "The Gastineau Girls," documenting their search for money - er - love.
Originally published on March 17, 2005
Want to land a rich guy? Here's
how the city's gold diggers do it
http://www.nydailynews.com/03-17-2005/city_life/story/290540p-248703c.html
BY BRITTANY SCHAEFFER
The author tries her hand at picking up a rich man (or at least some free drinks) at a Jazz at Lincoln Center benefit last week.
Two starry-eyed singles hit it off at the Hotel Gansevoort, a gold-digging hot spot.
When Erica, 25, steps into a bar crowded with businessmen, she sees more than pressed suits and polished Italian leather shoes. She envisions a beach house in St. Barts A wardrobe stocked with Louboutins and Choos. Ten-carat Harry Winston diamond earrings - all over-the-top luxuries out of reach of most people. But Erica (who, like all the women in this story, requested her last name not be used), wasn't born with a trust fund. And she doesn't let a low-paying public relations job keep her from expecting such fineries one day. She exclusively dates men with money, and her exes include a roster of men in finance with degrees from top business schools.
And she's not alone - scores of New York women who weren't born rich are cashing in on free drinks, dinners and yes, even diamonds, by seeking out wealthy men.
"Some say that it's the desire to continue to live in the lifestyle they were brought up in," says Erica, "Others say it's about getting power in what's generally a man-friendly economic climate, others that they simply want nice things. I think it's about all of the above."
Sarah, 27, who works in publishing and waits tables on weekends to make ends meet, generally hits up exclusive bars and clubs like Frederick's and SoHo House two or three times a week with a group of girlfriends for cocktails, and to find cute, wealthy guys.
"I'm not getting any younger and I need someone who is going in the right direction in life," says Sarah. "I will not date an artist of any sort."
Tricks of the trade
At a charity ball at Jazz at Lincoln Center last week, Sarah dressed in a stunning floor-length gown, sipped Champagne and attracted the attention of scores of tuxedo-clad men. They complimented her faux-diamond earrings ("I wish they were real," she laughs), and one man, who recently relocated from London, proclaimed that she was the first woman he intended to date in NYC. While he, and some of the others got blown off (too young, not straight, balding), she chatted up many of them, and ended up landing a dinner at Union Square's chichi Strip House the following week, courtesy of one of her suitors.
The trend is nothing new (and perhaps not surprising in the face of a burgeoning luxury market and glossy magazines that advertise just how well the other half lives). The difference now is that for many young, educated women, dating rich doesn't have as much to do with social standing and security as it does with experiencing the finer things in life. Women like Sarah even see scoring free dinners at fancy restaurants and gifts like an Hermes scarf (which she promptly sold on eBay) as engaging in a reverse feminism, of sorts.
"If a guy can go out and use a girl, why can't a girl do the same thing?" says Sarah. "Especially when you know he doesn't want anything more from you than to just take you to a restaurant, show you off, try to sleep with you and call you up in two weeks for another dinner - solely because he has nothing else to do and no one else to go out with that night."
While desperate guys are infamous for throwing one-liners at pretty girls, these ladies rarely approach men, and favor the more subtle tactic of winning attention simply by looking hot. Beyond keeping every hair in place, they squeeze into body-hugging jeans and dresses, and often wear identifiable designer pieces - a Gucci clutch, a pair of pricey Hudson jeans. But girls like Sarah and Erica know that the real secret to landing a wealthy man, is location, location, location.
"Frederick's, Biltmore Room, SoHo House, steakhouses or any private club that I cannot get into," says Sarah. "And any bars across from investment banks."
Sarah, who has been compared with Brooke Burke and frequently is mistaken for a model, is often asked out by older, wealthy men. On a Monday evening at the Bull & Bear - the Waldorf-Astoria bar - a few 40-plus men approach her as she sips a glass of white wine. They hand her their cards - a move intended to impress, as it immediately conveys the bearer's important title and financial status.
Erica says she sees plenty of guys doing the same thing, aware now more than ever that some girls are impressed by high rollers.
Show her the money, tactfully
"If he announces how well-off he is, I'll think he is a real Neanderthal and that no matter how big his bonus is, he'll never have enough money to buy himself a modicum of class," says Erica. "But, I'll still flirt outrageously with him because I know he will at least buy all my drinks for the night."
But while some men seem comfortable playing sugar daddy, others, like Alex Valerio, a 26-year-old in fashion marketing who divides his time between New York and Paris, say that they like to keep their cash under wraps.
Valerio, whose parents own a pure-bred Arabian horse farm and an international housewares company, recently ended a six-month relationship after he began to feel that his girlfriend was using him for his dough.
"We'd travel everywhere together, and I'd buy her gifts," he explains. "But I began to realize that she didn't like me, so much as she liked the life I could provide her with."
He promptly dropped the girl, and now waits several months into a relationship before revealing that he's got so much money that he doesn't have to work at all. He says he wants to find someone who's in love with him.
But many gold diggers say that just because they want a guy who's wealthy doesn't mean that they don't want a happy, meaningful relationship, too.
"You can have it all," says Sarah.
Of course, women like Sarah and Erica are not only acutely aware of not only the stigma, but also the possible reality of dating and marrying for money.
"Marrying a man for money is a gamble at best," says Erica. "You trade yourself for someone you don't love, a lifestyle that will probably be vacuous, with friends who don't care about you."
And although the label "gold digger" is an ugly one, Erica doesn't mind.
"It's more acceptable, indeed even expected, for a woman to want a man with money. It's a consumer-based society - the biggest house, the fastest car, the most extravagant vacations," she says. "This is a culture that revels in excess and hardly ever advocates moderation on any level, and we all buy into it."
* * *
Where the 'Diggers' go
Location is everything in New York - especially when it comes to landing Richie Rich - and these spots are known for attracting wealthy, eligible men. Happy hunting!
FREDERICK'S 8 W. 58th St., at Fifth Ave., (212) 752-6200. Good-looking women and guys with bucks are welcome.
THE BULL & BEAR 301 Park Ave., at 49th St., (212) 872-4900. Attracts wealthy older men.
MARQUEE 289 10th Ave., at 27th St., (646) 473-0202. You either have to be a somebody or a rich man to get into this exclusive club.
ULYSSES 58 Stone St., at Hanover Square, (212) 482-0400. Frequented by Wall Street types.
DON HILL'S 511 Greenwich St., at Spring St., (212) 219-2850. Bankers line up at the bar here Thursday nights.
HOTEL GANSEVOORT BAR 18 Ninth Ave., at 13th St., (212) 206-6700. In the middle of the Meatpacking District, this is where hip hunks hang out.
Celebs who struck gold - big time!
These gals secured luxurious lifestyles when they married money. While all claim they wed for love, when saying "I do" comes with a bank account that allows for jet-setting, millions in baubles and homes wherever they'd like, who'd question their motives?
When former Guess? model Anna Nicole Smith, then 26, wed oil magnate J. Howard Marshall in 1994, tongues started wagging. Not surprising, given that Marshall was a wheelchair-bound, 89-year-old billionaire. When Marshall died, Smith became embroiled in a lawsuit with Marshall's son, who claimed the former stripper didn't deserve a dime of his dad's estate. The case is ongoing, and Smith - who has $88.5 million at stake - vows to take her fight to the Supreme Court, if necessary.
Melinda French was a Microsoft marketing exec when she met the company's founder, Bill Gates. The pair wed in 1994, and it's fair to say that French's stock value increased exponentially, Gates being the richest man in the world and all.
Sure, 34-year-old Slovenian Melania Knauss was a model before she married Donald Trump in January. But it's unlikely that her mannequin salary even came close to Trump's multimillions.
Marrying Jets football player Mark Gastineau landed Lisa Gastineau big bucks and media exposure. Now divorced, she and daughter Brittany have finagled their own reality TV show, "The Gastineau Girls," documenting their search for money - er - love.
Originally published on March 17, 2005
