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give me one reason I should like you

MarthaStewart

MarthaStewart

New member
I hate pretty much everyone on this board.
For about 99% of you, the idea alone makes me fucking wretch.
To think that you go about your daily lives and don't get hit by a bus - that right there tells me that there is no fucking God.
If there were a God, he would have killed off your pathetically fat asses long ago.
If I saw you in person I would nod and smile and then hold back the urge to vomit all over you as you went on and on about your disgustingly trivial life in front of me.
I would count the seconds until your stench ridden worthlessness waddled off into a part of the world where sorry ass losers aren't regarded with utter and total contempt.
Otherwise, you wouldn't live a day longer you sick assholes.

Now, give me one reason why I shouldn't feel this way towards you. If it is a good reason, then I will stop hating you and at worst simply regard you as someone that deserves to live out the rest of their life - and at best I will worship you like a deity and become a slave to the idea of you.
 
Dawookie said:
mmmmm, makes me want to watch the movie Se7en
Click to expand...

Okay, the fact that you have football shit in your avatar initially makes me wish some sort of death to you involving fire.

But the fact that you want to see Se7en again is enough to cancel out all that shit and you are just another dude to me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like you at all - but I don't hate you, nor do I wish a slow and painful death on you.
 
hold back the urge to vomit all over you as you went on and on about your disgustingly trivial life in front of me.



mmmmm, makes me want to watch the movie Se7en
 
KillahBee said:
bloody burnt ankles
treehouse is detrimental
chained up angst-filled fuck
Click to expand...

Your avatar is the traditional "two nasty skanks on E, fake-dyking out for the camera because they need the attention" that overweight men with small penises flaunt as a way to try to hide the fact that they haven't had sex in over 10 years.

That right there makes me hate - I would love to watch your organs spill out into the warm night air, falling with soft splashes onto the dirty parking lot of the shitty ass bar you frequent on weekends.

That said, your haiku was nearly beautiful and I appreciate things that are on the verge of offensiveness.

Therefore, I hate you no more than DaWookie. I have no desire to kill you, but if you ever show up at my house, expect to die.
 
Nathan said:
This was a devastating blow to my already fragile ego. At least I'm fucking gorgeous.
Click to expand...

I've never seen you, but I imagine that you are as scarily malformed as the rest of the idiots on this board.

That said, I have no problems with you.

While I would take great satisfaction in seeing a late model Cadillac drive into you going well over 90mph and smash you into a stone building, crushing your pelvis and forcing your life out through the top of your head... I do find your posts amusing.

Again, I don't hate you, but if I ever seen you in person, expect a knife in the gut and a boot in the ass.
 
Hmmm... something that Martha Stewart would appreciate. Let me think.....

I got it! This is pretty strange. My first roomate after moving away from home for my first time had double YY chromosomes, owned over 200 knives, and was very muching into being tied up, beaten and tortured by women, and would regularly bring his lady friends over. We are still friends I chat with him about once a week long distance.
 
From Zero said:
I love you Martha.
Click to expand...

Initially I didn't think that I really hated you. But now you've done it.

The hate I now feel for you exceeds even my hatered for the blind.

I hope a bus makes a wrong turn and levels your house while you are having a dump so large and painful that you are crying on the toilet when the bus hits, your eyes full of tears, looking up towards the sky at your false idol, begging for swift release and hoping that in the future your dietary fiber content is higher.
 
BodyByFinaplix said:
I got it! This is pretty strange. My first roomate after moving away from home for my first time had double YY chromosomes, owned over 200 knives, and was very muching into being tied up, beaten and tortured by women, and would regularly bring his lady friends over. We are still friends I chat with him about once a week long distance.
Click to expand...

Your "friend" doesn't fool me one bit. Occasionally picking up the phone and talking to yourself loudly, trying not to hear the incessant beeping of the phone off the hook does not constitute friends.
You genetic makeup, no matter how flawed, still is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I hope one day while you are standing at an ATM, hoping that you have enough money in the bank to cover this withdrawl so that you can get liquored up to hide the embarrassing fact that you are lonely and need to be hugged, a skinny homeless man stabs you in the right kidney and takes your credit cards, leaving you to later die in an infected pool of your own urea.
 
MS, hmmm, unlikely scenario. I don't drink, and don't own any credit cards. You'll need to come up with new scienario. Try to be a little more creative this time. You can do better than that. You're losing your touch.
 
I assume you're fairly ambivalent towards me. However, the hot underage girls in my avatar should be a plus.
 
Backlash said:
I assume you're fairly ambivalent towards me. However, the hot underage girls in my avatar should be a plus.
Click to expand...

I would do the most horrific things to those girls. All of them involving my terribly small penis, flaccidly being pressed against the backs of their heads while they lay face down on a cheap motel bed, vegetables filling their gaping orifices.

If I ever came in contact with you, I would do the exact same thing, but at the end I would sear your eyes out with a red hot poker and sing camp songs as the stench of burning skin wafts out of each socket.
 
C'mon people... how can you not agree that MS = SG?
 
gonelifting said:
Quite frankly, I`m a little scared.
Click to expand...

Right, MS comes up with some sick shit, very quickly. Quite disturbing. I don't know if I actually WANT him to like me. One may be safer as his enemy.
 
Re: Re: give me one reason I should like you

deteras1 said:
[If there were a God, he would have killed off your pathetically fat asses long ago.


:lmao:

I can't believe your calling someone else fat. post that pic of you getting hit in your fat gut by your skinny friend. i can picture when you and your one pathetic friend go out, you find a skinny ugly chick and a fat ugly one together, and really the fat ugly chick is taking one for the team.

you must be one lonley bastard,do yourself and everyone else a favor and shoot yourself in the head. 12 guage slug preferably.:destroy:
Click to expand...

First of all, like I have said before, I'm a lot more cut now.
I would post a picture of me, but Carl is the one that has a camera and he lives in the States and I don't.
I don't really know anyone here, so I can't just ask them to take pics of me with my shirt off getting hit by someone.

And I don't go out that much - but you are right, when we did, Carl would get lots more action than me.
But I'm more cut now.

As for you, I like your honesty, you also come across as really bright.
I would polish your shoes and save up so that I could buy you a car.
 
Re: Re: give me one reason I should like you

deteras1 said:
[I can't believe your calling someone else fat. post that pic of you getting hit in your fat gut by your skinny friend.
Click to expand...

Thats harsh bro.

He's trying to lose weight and, like he said, that pic is old so he's lost 5 or 6 pounds since then.
 
[If there were a God, he would have killed off your pathetically fat asses long ago.


:lmao:

I can't believe your calling someone else fat. post that pic of you getting hit in your fat gut by your skinny friend. i can picture when you and your one pathetic friend go out, you find a skinny ugly chick and a fat ugly one together, and really the fat ugly chick is taking one for the team.

you must be one lonley bastard,do yourself and everyone else a favor and shoot yourself in the head. 12 guage slug preferably.:destroy:
 
curling said:
Oh I don't know how about because I say what I feel and I am interesting.
Click to expand...

My head feels empty after reading that.
So does my stomach.

Fortunately, my bowels aren't empty.
I would chloroform you and then shove the solvent soaked rag down your throat and then dump the contents of my bowels over your prostrate form.
I'd dance like a Russian bear on your chest and neck and then I'd be off into the night like a nymph.
 
this thread is the armpit of the world

i feel like someone just cocked over me and took a gigantic dump and I am now dumber for reading it
 
"MarthaStewart" and "nymph" DO NOT belong in the same sentence. Or even the same thread. My lunch is coming back up....
 
notoriousQQ said:
this thread is the armpit of the world

i feel like someone just cocked over me and took a gigantic dump and I am now dumber for reading it
Click to expand...

Perfect.
The combination of this and the fact that you said you were 6'8" let's me know that you will live to see another day, even if we met.
Since I am only 5'3", I live in worship of those taller than myself.
Sure it is rare, but when I do see them, I fall to the ground and make dust angels at their feet.

Praise you.

That said, your avatar makes me want to slit *somebody's* throat - just not you.
 
PoyeBoy said:
One word "Jesse and the Rippers"



BOOOOYAAAAAAH
Click to expand...

You remind me of a combination of Matt Lauer from the Today Show, Donald Trump, and Jim Madden.
All rolled up into one gay ball of lumpiness.

I want to jump up and down on your shitter while wearing golf spikes.
 
MarthaStewart said:


My head feels empty after reading that.
So does my stomach.

Fortunately, my bowels aren't empty.
I would chloroform you and then shove the solvent soaked rag down your throat and then dump the contents of my bowels over your prostrate form.
I'd dance like a Russian bear on your chest and neck and then I'd be off into the night like a nymph.
Click to expand...

Wow and you like me? What would you do to people you hated? Don't tell me. I don't want to be scarred for life.
 
jerkbox said:
I'm a pretty hate machine.
Click to expand...

NIN is for unshapely girls that will never be popular no matter how frequently they put out, so they stop going outside, powder their faces white and smear gobs of black eyeliner around their eyes.
It started from the heroin chic that wanted to hide the effects on their eyes and then became a trend that pathetic losers latched on to and spread their own sad little culture out through the high schools.
The angst of sitting at home in suburban America with nothing to do. While mom was at aerobics and dad was traveling for work led them to play loud music with bursts of noise since they knew that it would piss the parents off. Enough so that they would at least yell at them, some attention, even if bad is better than being ignored everyday like at school.

NIN started in the '90s and died in the '90s - all that is left now are quotes and pathetic masses of the lost that aren't aware that they are wasting their lives in a culture that is more transparent than their skin.

You, my shit eating friend, I would wrap a dog collar around your neck and then attach a chain and drag your sorry ass down seven flights of stairs while skipping and whistling versions of Twisted Sister songs under my fetid breath.
 
Last edited:
hellboy said:
Sometimes I can squirt pimento cheese out of my ass.
So there's that.
Click to expand...

Assuming that cheese doesn't get there the long way and instead takes the most immediate short cut, going in directly through that final hairy sphincter and resting fully on the walls of your own fucking slimy colon - waiting to extrude out like a Play-Doh factory with one firm push of your bowel muscles... then yes, you my friend are a hero to me.
Please send me one of your sneakers so that I may have it bronzed and wear it as a medallion of my faith to you.
 
MarthaStewart said:


Please send me one of your sneakers so that I may have it bronzed and wear it as a medallion of my faith to you.
Click to expand...

I can't send you a sneaker but I could hook you up with my mom. She taught me the cheese trick.
 
curling said:

Wow and you like me? What would you do to people you hated? Don't tell me. I don't want to be scarred for life.
Click to expand...

I assure you that the scarring I could do to you would only be physical and superficial compared to the emotional scars that religion has etched on your psyche.
 
hellboy said:


I can't send you a sneaker but I could hook you up with my mom. She taught me the cheese trick.
Click to expand...

She sounds like a special woman. Special in the "I just came in last in the 100m dash and I *still* get a pretty medal" kind of way.
 
revexrevex said:
I know a lot about computers.
Click to expand...

The only two things you know a lot about are copious amounts of cock gobbling good times and sweat enduced dropping of plates on the ground after a dizzying round of deadlifts.
I respect your unquestioning devotion to a single compound move, no matter how little it works for you.

As a result, I will fill one room in your house with dog food and then piss in your sink and call it the best date I've had in years.
 
curling said:
why should anybody care that you like them?
Click to expand...

For the same reason one cares if they are getting into heaven.
Otherwise they are to spend an eternity in pain and anguish - and nobody wants that.
 
MarthaStewart said:


NIN is for unshapely girls that will never be popular no matter how frequently they put out, so they stop going outside, powder their faces white and smear gobs of black eyeliner around their eyes.
It started from the heroin chic that wanted to hide the effects on their eyes and then became a trend that pathetic losers latched on to and spread their own sad little culture out through the high schools.
The angst of sitting at home in suburban America with nothing to do. While mom was at aerobics and dad was traveling for work led them to play loud music with bursts of noise since they knew that it would piss the parents off. Enough so that they would at least yell at them, some attention, even if bad is better than being ignored everyday like at school.

NIN started in the '90s and died in the '90s - all that is left now are quotes and pathetic masses of the lost that aren't aware that they are wasting their lives in a culture that is more transparent than their skin.

You, my shit eating friend, I would wrap a dog collar around your neck and then attach a chain and drag your sorry ass down seven flights of stairs while skipping and whistling versions of Twisted Sister songs under my fetid breath.
Click to expand...

well, I guess I missed the whole goth scene, what's the more current outcast bohemian bandwagon scene for me to jump on? and can I punch you in the stomach?
 
MarthaStewart said:


I assure you that the scarring I could do to you would only be physical and superficial compared to the emotional scars that religion has etched on your psyche.
Click to expand...

I am fine thank you. Appreciate you concern martha. Btw why should anybody care that you like them?
 
I'd love to inflict the first three se7en mortalities on you. I would beg God to bring you back to life twice so that I could make it happen. Letting you experience only a fraction of the suffering you will experience in Canto makes me feel warm and useful. Everyone of you fucks is going straight to Canto. No purgatory for your faithless arses.

I can picture myself doing it now, feeling outside of myself, listening to Bach's Air on a G String, carrying out God's work on your small insignificant body. Working feverently for The Lord himself, even he would sit up and take notice.

Liberatae tutamae ex inferis
 
Well it takes a special person to squirt pimento cheese out of their ass I'll tell you what. Most people can only handle non dairy processed cheese spread or soft velveeta and everyone knows that that's not even REAL cheese.

Gross.
 
Martha you make me cry :*(

I believe physical and mental prowess will make up a complete person. Deadlifts and technology.
 
British Athlete said:
I'd love to inflict the first three se7en mortalities on you. I would beg God to bring you back to life twice so that I could make it happen. Letting you experience only a fraction of the suffering you will experience in Canto makes me feel warm and useful. Everyone of you fucks is going straight to Canto. No purgatory for your faithless arses.

I can picture myself doing it now, feeling outside of myself, listening to Bach's Air on a G String, carrying out God's work on your small insignificant body. Working feverently for The Lord himself, even he would sit up and take notice.

Liberatae tutamae ex inferis
Click to expand...

Where the hell is Canto? Is it in Alabama?
I don't think Bach wore G-Strings.
 
jerkbox said:


well, I guess I missed the whole goth scene, what's the more current outcast bohemian bandwagon scene for me to jump on? and can I punch you in the stomach?
Click to expand...

The emo scene is where it is at now.

As for punching me in the stomach - I just had one of our painting crew do that - please see my new thread. I'm more cut now.
 
British Athlete said:
I'd love to inflict the first three se7en mortalities on you. I would beg God to bring you back to life twice so that I could make it happen. Letting you experience only a fraction of the suffering you will experience in Canto makes me feel warm and useful. Everyone of you fucks is going straight to Canto. No purgatory for your faithless arses.

I can picture myself doing it now, feeling outside of myself, listening to Bach's Air on a G String, carrying out God's work on your small insignificant body. Working feverently for The Lord himself, even he would sit up and take notice.

Liberatae tutamae ex inferis
Click to expand...

You sound like a good mate.

I'd go down to the pub and I'd buy you a pint. We can watch cricket.
 
British Athlete said:


I hope you burn in the river of Styx for all eternity when your physical body passes away.
Click to expand...

Well Mr. Smarty Pants, I just checked a little thing called a MAP and there is no Styx river in Alabama.
 
theres absolutely no reason to like me. i just skip through life oblivious to anyone else. lifting my weights, stepping on and over people as i race towards death.
 
3.jpg
 
All I know is,
I should be in the 1% group with Vix because I think we may be related,
due to the Gang Rape Orgy thing...

Does you little toe on your right foot look like a Vanilla Creme
Jelly Belly bean?
 
presguy said:
theres absolutely no reason to like me. i just skip through life oblivious to anyone else. lifting my weights, stepping on and over people as i race towards death.
Click to expand...

Your honesty and openess reminds me of a less eloquently worded version of a Pink Floyd song.

I like that song, therefore, I like you.

If we met in person, I would dress up in a Catholic school girl uniform and then try to feed you oats from my pocket.
 
Y_Lifter said:
All I know is,
I should be in the 1% group with Vix because I think we may be related,
due to the Gang Rape Orgy thing...

Does you little toe on your right foot look like a Vanilla Creme
Jelly Belly bean?
Click to expand...

I'm not exactly sure what gang rape orgy you are talking about, but those are words very near and dear to my heart.

I wouldn't do anything to you or your family, just please don't talk about my toes.
 
Originally posted by MarthaStewart
I'm not exactly sure what gang rape orgy you are talking about, but those are words very near and dear to my heart.

I wouldn't do anything to you or your family, just please don't talk about my toes.
Click to expand...

Did your Dad ever mention that trip to Antigua he took with the Bird Watchers of Boston that turned into something more than a
walk in the woods ?

I think that was when it happened according to MY Mom
 
Y_Lifter said:


Did your Dad ever mention that trip to Antigua he took with the Bird Watchers of Boston that turned into something more than a
walk in the woods ?

I think that was when it happened according to MY Mom
Click to expand...

Okay, I said I'd leave your family out of this - but you keep bringing them back in.
I have no idea what my dad did to your mother, but I can assure you afterwards at least one of them was very sore and the other had a burning sensation when they went to the bathroom for about 3 weeks.
 
Originally posted by MarthaStewart
Okay, I said I'd leave your family out of this - but you keep bringing them back in.
I have no idea what my dad did to your mother, but I can assure you afterwards at least one of them was very sore and the other had a burning sensation when they went to the bathroom for about 3 weeks.
Click to expand...

It's, it's .. like a family reunion episode of Oprah !

I think I may be emotional now... :bawling:
 
MarthaStewart said:
I hate pretty much everyone on this board.
For about 99% of you, the idea alone makes me fucking wretch.
To think that you go about your daily lives and don't get hit by a bus - that right there tells me that there is no fucking God.
If there were a God, he would have killed off your pathetically fat asses long ago.
If I saw you in person I would nod and smile and then hold back the urge to vomit all over you as you went on and on about your disgustingly trivial life in front of me.
I would count the seconds until your stench ridden worthlessness waddled off into a part of the world where sorry ass losers aren't regarded with utter and total contempt.
Otherwise, you wouldn't live a day longer you sick assholes.

Now, give me one reason why I shouldn't feel this way towards you. If it is a good reason, then I will stop hating you and at worst simply regard you as someone that deserves to live out the rest of their life - and at best I will worship you like a deity and become a slave to the idea of you.
Click to expand...

I'm your Dad!!!!
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: give me one reason I should like you

perkele said:


That's right. But I apologize I forced you to suck it when you were just little Martha back in -78.
Click to expand...

hmm, I have no memories from that year - but that would explain my love for hot dogs at night.

anyway dad, I didn't know you had a net connection where you are, but I'm glad you are here.

hope the computer is treating you well. say hi to the dog.
 
Re: Re: Re: give me one reason I should like you

MarthaStewart said:


In that case, you have a very large penis.
Click to expand...

That's right. But I apologize I forced you to suck it when you were just little Martha back in -78.
 
My sheets, bedspread, towels and drapes perfectly coordinate my freshly painted "Soft Ochre" walls,
providing the perfect backdrop for my ever so tastefull vintage Syracuse "Royal Court" china and Waterford crystal.
 
john937 said:
My sheets, bedspread, towels and drapes perfectly coordinate my freshly painted "Soft Ochre" walls,
providing the perfect backdrop for my ever so tastefull vintage Syracuse "Royal Court" china and Waterford crystal.
Click to expand...
.
gay_trying.jpg
 
Welcome to the Family...
As a gesture of warmth, I have sent a care pkg with lots of snacks and cookies and stuff to you.

It should arrive in oh, say, 3 weeks or so.
 
Y_Lifter said:
Welcome to the Family...
As a gesture of warmth, I have sent a care pkg with lots of snacks and cookies and stuff to you.

It should arrive in oh, say, 3 weeks or so.
Click to expand...

mail takes forever here.
if you think the mail in the States is bad - sometimes the mail here will take over a week just to get from one part of the post office to another part.
nothing like nearly 0% unemployment to make people lazy.
 
British Athlete:

What is the River OF Styx? Is that where Dennis DeYoung and Tommy Shaw CDs flow like water?
 
Ganryu said:
British Athlete:

What is the River OF Styx? Is that where Dennis DeYoung and Tommy Shaw CDs flow like water?
Click to expand...

Go away.
I'd like to drown you by forcefully grasping the back or your head by your greasy hair and then reapeatedly plunging your acne ridden face down into a public toilet.
And I would refuse you a courtesy flush since it would be a wasted effort for a man about to drown in someone else's bile.
 
Ganryu said:
Alright, tub-o-tits. If I EVER see you, I will strip you, tie your arms behind your back, tie your ankles to either end of a baseball bat, tie a noose around your neck, tie the noose to the baseball bat, shove a corn cob in your ass, cut of your penis and stick it in your mouth, cut off your balls and glue them to your nostrils, half gut (so you are still alive), strap you to the hood of an 1983 Ford Escort, and drive around town proudly displaying you like a trophy deer.
Click to expand...

I don't know where this hostility came from, but it sounds like you would make a lousy hooker.
 
Alright, tub-o-tits. If I EVER see you, I will strip you, tie your arms behind your back, tie your ankles to either end of a baseball bat, tie a noose around your neck, tie the noose to the baseball bat, shove a corn cob in your ass, cut of your penis and stick it in your mouth, cut off your balls and glue them to your nostrils, half gut (so you are still alive), strap you to the hood of an 1983 Ford Escort, and drive around town proudly displaying you like a trophy deer.
 
Bodhisattva said:
Like me or I will sit on you and fart on your head. Yeah...highschool all over.
Click to expand...

I will skin you and proudly strut around in the suit I make of you.

With the extra skin from your fetid corpse, I will make myself a hat and shoes. I will wear them when it rains.
 
Like me or I will sit on you and fart on your head. Yeah...highschool all over.
 
MarthaStewart said:


I will skin you and proudly strut around in the suit I make of you.

With the extra skin from your fetid corpse, I will make myself a hat and shoes. I will wear them when it rains.
Click to expand...

You wouldn't get the chance my farts are leathel. I'll have you praying to 100100 for a quick death when you feel the seering pain burning your lung tissue into small cinders.
 
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