Depressed and in need of help...

[mishvs]

Right, this is going to be a long post, so please hang in there!

I'll give you a to the point, brief history of myself- two years ago I fell ill, lost 30 lbs ( I weighed 120 Lbs and went down to 90 lbs at my lowest) This weight loss drigger off anorexic behaviour although I never starved myself, just at extremely low cal (usually around 1000 a day) and no carbs except some veggies. As you can imagine I was incredibly thin and skeletal looking.

Anyway, I am over that now and am determined to follow with my bbing dream. Here's the problem:

I have been lifting PROPERLY now (eating right etc) for a good year and a half but, I am getting increasingly tense about my body. My muscles are sooo soft, and I feel "frumpy". I am at my highest weight at the moment (115lbs) since the illness so mentally it's taking a bit of adjustment.

Realistically, I know a ripped physique takes absolute years to achieve but I feel I'm getting v. little out of my crazy w/os.

Currently my split is:
Chest, tris/bis
back, shoulders
legs

I train with a lot of intensity and try to increase my weights as much as possible.

Cardio used to be every other day until I hit the "body crisis" three weeks ago and increase it to every day (30 mins training days, 45 mins off days). Am I overtraining?

The past few weeks have been bad- I never used to crave thigs but now its getting out of hand. Last night I went a bit off the rocker and induldged in sweet stuff I never have a cheat day, never a cheat meal either. (Mentally I can't afford to) For two years I have been on a clean diet and I'm not looking like I follow one. This is really frustrating - do I need to take a break?

My current diet:

Meal1:
40 g oats
6 egg whites

meal2:
chicken breast
sweet potato
veggies (cauliflower/pumpkin)

meal3:
tin tuna
peppers, tomato
3.5 oz beans

meal4:
4 oz fish/ chicken/ red meat
loads of veg and salad

meal 5:
chicken salad (before bed)

occasionally I wake up really hungry so then I'll eat a salad and some protein.

What I really need help with is my legs. I seriously can't handle the saddle bags. I know its genetic but I need to get rid of them because I have a fairly lean body (i am prettty satisfied with my upper body) and these lumps just don't fit in with the picture.

So, do I keep cardio high or drop it back to 3-4 times weekly. What the hell am I doing wrong? I am so dtermined to loook good that I will literally do anything even oif it means cardio for a hour every day!

Thanks to all who read this- I know it is painfully long but it is a well overdue that I get some real help.

Michelle

 

[Pink Space Biscuit]

I think you should get your bodyfat tested. Mentally it will help to know what you are dealing with, rather than relying on what you see in the mirror. Facts are hard to fight, self evaluation is easily blurred...

Go with the hydro testing or regular calipers done by a professional. The scales are crap.

As far as cardio, yes you are overtraining. If you feel the need to do something 7 days a week, just go for a walk or do something fun. Too much cardio just eats the muscle you are working hard to build and without the muscle you will end up frumpy and soft as you describe it.

 

[mishvs]

I did get my bodyfat tested a while back but haven't been in about two months. Last time it was 16% I haven't been back snce just because i thought I'd give myself a while to build more muscle and change my appearance slightly (no such luck)

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I am 5'8.

 

[NubianBeauty]

Wow! I'm 5'8" and I weigh about 175 (people say I don't look it) and I'm not even trying to lose any weight. IMO forget the cardio. There is no reason for you to do it. At 115lbs you need to concentrate on building muscle only and cardio does not do that. I like the diet because it consists of REAL food you just need more of it... (I eat alot more than that) try adding in at least 1 protein shake per day.

 

[FitFossil]

Your workouts should be challenging but not annihilating. You can't beat your body into shape, rather you must tease it into making gains. I used to go balls-to-the-wall in every workout. I liked that feeling of really pushing myself, but I found I made faster progress by not going to failure on every set, and by alternating heavy weeks with light weeks. If you push too hard too fast, you risk injury and overtraining, which'll just keep setting you back.

By doing so much cardio, your body isn't getting any real rest. It's while you rest that your muscles grow. Add in another day of weights. Try working back on it's own day. Cut the cardio down to 2-3 days. Try interval training w/ your cardio. It really leaned out my legs.

As for diet, if you find that you're truly hungry a lot (not cravings which are different), then your body needs more food. It can't build muscle if the raw materials aren't there. As for cravings, I control this by having a small treat every day. I'd rather be dead than not have chocolate chip cookies, so a few every day keeps all other cravings at bay. I also find it works well to cycle my calories. Some days high, some days low. That way it keeps the body guessing. Whether it's eating or training, our bodies naturally try to adapt to whatever we're doing, and that's when we reach a plateau.

I think you need to ease up a bit on yourself, otherwise you'll just burn out mentally and physically. Bodybuilding is not a speed event. A big part of reaching your goals depends on being able to train for the long haul.

 

[The Ranger]

Good advice all the way around JJ....

Ranger

 

[valerie]

Just adding two thoughts here for you-

1. You can either make gains or you can get leaner. Obviously you need to gain, I just want you to be clear in that you can only do one or the other. In order to make gains in lean body mass you do need to consume above your maintenence calorie level.


2. Understand that gains in muscle mass are very difficult when your bodyfat level is low. So I would not fixate on bodyfat%, other than to keep it at a manageable level, say 16-18%.

3. Reserve the cardio for after gains have been made. This way it will be more effective and not counterproductive. We cycle everything, even cardio!!!! If you want to take a nice walk or short hike that is fine, just not everyday.

4. I like to take 9-10 days off from the gym and lifting every 6-8 weeks or just before I think I need it. I lift so heavy and hard that this helps me stay sound.

More than two thoughts here for you.

Read Corns post on crunching numbers-valerie

 

[Nonerz]

Read Corns post on crunching numbers-valerie

I second that...

 

[Cheetarah]

Michelle,

Why do you REFUSE to listen to ANYONE'S advice?!! I, as well as MANY others, both from this board and another board, have ALL told you the SAME thing! You aren't eating enough and you are overtraining, overdoing it on the cardio! How many people and how many times is it gonna take for you to finally LISTEN!! I, as well as a few others from the other board, have TRIED to help you more than once. Then I send you here hoping that if you won't take advice from me and a few others from the other board, that you will take it from the numerous, intelligent & experienced women HERE. And that was quite a while back that I referred you here (December of 2002 to be exact) and today, I come here and find you are STILL having the SAME problems and STILL have not changed a gosh darn THING about your diet OR training! It is very frustrating!! I have tried to help you but you just won't listen! Until you get past this mental block you seem to have and learn to take our advice, you are NEVER gonna get the results and progress you are looking for! Why can't you understand that? I have told you more than once you are not eating enough and I (and a few others) gave you SPECIFIC help on your diet, advised you to increase your carbs and add some fat to your meals. You cannot gain weight on the diet you are on, it is too few calories. You HAVE to trust me on this. Talk to Bladezz33 as well as many other women on the other board who I have advised, what I tell them WORKS! And the ladies of Elite are telling you the very SAME things, giving you the exact same advice I had given you way back when! All you need to do is TAKE our advice!! Otherwise I'm gonna keep seeing posts from you about you getting all depressed cause what you are doing is NOT working! When will you realize that and actually CHANGE your diet and training?

You have gotten PLENTY of help on two different boards now SEVERAL times, SAME advice, over and over again but you STILL refuse to listen and keep coming back with the same exact diet and training asking why it isn't working and we keep telling you. There is nothing else we can do until you finally decide to listen and take our advice.

I just looked back thru your journal on the other board and it was back in NOVEMBER that you first showed up on the other board with your dilemma and you've been helped countless times since then. But YET, DESPITE all the great advice you've been given, you are doing the EXACT SAME THING that you were doing back in November & December both training and diet wise! Michelle, listen to me, you haven't changed anything since NOVEMBER!!! Yet you keep coming back to these boards saying you're all depressed cause what you're doing isn't working. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do I need to post your diet & training that you were doing in Nov & Dec in here so you can SEE that you haven't changed anything? Just take a look at your journal on the other board for a memory refresher on how many times so many people have tried to help you, all with the same basic advice and how you have YET to make any significant changes to your program. Are you looking for a "magic" discussion board? One that will tell you some magic formula for getting the results you want without you having to change anything in your current program? Cause it's not gonna happen. Sooner or later you're gonna have to realize that you are not actually taking anyone's advice and then you keep getting depressed cause WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOT WORKING.

Sorry so long. It's just that the history on this case is very long (as you know Michelle) and it really and truly drives me nuts when I have tried and tried to sincerely help someone but yet she won't take any of my advice and keeps continually coming back depressed and I keep having to see that happening.

 

[mishvs]

Wow, what anger...

Cheetarah- I am not in the same delimma, I have actually made great progress. I just need to further it. Sometimes I just need some extra support because this time I wasn't sure whether I should do so much cardio.

I do really appreciate the help and quite honestly, I have taken the advice and cut down my cardio. Up until 3 weeks ago, I wasn't "doing the same thing as in november" I had drastically reduced cardio and managed to put on some muscle and quite a lot of fat.

I think I have only posted once here about my problem and that was when I was clinically depressed and even if it was working, probably wouldn't have realised it. I now come with fresh enthusiasm only to be put down. I don't "refuse" to listen to the advice, just trying to get a feel for what everyone else is doing.

So I am sorry if the post seems the same but I have actually come a long way since then and am now attempting to take my traing to another level. It may seem that way because when I was doing everything right I didn't need to post but now I just needed a reality check.

Thanks anyway.