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chicks that I want to nail

HappyScrappy

HappyScrappy

New member
Morgan Fairchild
Heather Locklear
probably a bunch of others.

they are the hot ones that I just want to have normal sex with.

nothing that involves tweezers, duct tape, toothpaste, plastic bags, dog shit, cat hair, or a camel.

that said, there are some chicks on their webcams that just are ASKING for me to crawl into their room and repaint the ceiling with cow's blood.

seriously - I want to nail Morgan Fairchild and Heather Locklear.
 
Obviously a fan of the MILF hunter.

I agree, even though Morgan Fairchild is nearing 60, i'd still fuck her through a hedge backwards!
 
vinylgroover said:

i'd still fuck her through a hedge backwards!
Click to expand...

I have no idea at all what that means.

but you totally blew the mood I had going here with the pinching insects I had on my eyelids.

looks like someone isn't gonna be able to whack off for another 30 mins.
 
Hammer-mob.jpg
 
When it comes to old broads I'd like to rail Raquel Welsh.
Or Bikinimom.
 
I'll have sex with anything that is intelligent enough to believe in Jesus, so we're talking like everything from amoebas to puppies that have had their genitals burned off with a torch.

Sweet lord, i am really proud of the morbidity and offensiveness of this post. This one surely must get 5 stars.
 
I'd totally love to bang morgan fairchild. She'd be even more hot if she had no limbs. Or if her arms were legs and her legs were arms. And if her ass was where her axe wound was and vice versa. And after I finished banging her should could kick me in the balls..... or would that be considered punching me in the balls?

that would be sweet.
 
Heather's hot and all, but what I wouldn't give to boil hot dogs in Carmen Electra's mouth and then trade her a Mark McGuire Topps rookie card in return for throwing artichoke hearts at my urethra.
 
HappyScrappy said:
you guys make it sound like you don't even use hot pokers or a tire iron.

you make me sick.
Click to expand...

I'm going to be honest with you, so long as there is a cute baby animal with their gentials singed off in the room I'm pretty much ready and willing to bang anything that's bleeding. Having said that, there is nothing sexier than a chick whose face has been bruised so bad that it turned blue, then deep purple, then yellow, then skin-colored again in the center. That's just sheer sex appeal right there.
 
Would you let mordan fetherchild dress up in a freaky clown costume and shit on your stomach?

If you want, i have pics,

you know I do
 
supersizeme said:
Heather's hot and all, but what I wouldn't give to boil hot dogs in Carmen Electra's mouth and then trade her a Mark McGuire Topps rookie card in return for throwing artichoke hearts at my urethra.
Click to expand...

do you meant the 1987 one with the fake wooden border?
or was there like a traded or rookies set later in 86?

and in all seriousness - the shit you post is weak. it is all lovey dovey.

and you ignore my taunts via yahoooooooooo
 
HappyScrappy said:


do you meant the 1987 one with the fake wooden border?
or was there like a traded or rookies set later in 86?

and in all seriousness - the shit you post is weak. it is all lovey dovey.

and you ignore my taunts via yahoooooooooo
Click to expand...

the one with the fake wooden border. nigga over got 7 of em, and they are worth fuck all. by the way i was taking a humongous shit when you blew up my IM. get back on and put the ball gag in your mouth this time instead of in the special places that makes poopies.
 
Why would she think that?
You're wierd.
 
Newbie2building said:
morgan fairchild looks like a rodent.
Click to expand...

interesting point - maybe that is why I really just want to hug her and pet her and then give her rat poison, then spit on her and roll her a mix of coke and X, and then shove her in my ass as she starts her death writhing.

sounds a lot like love I guess.
 
you cannot tell me that Britney does not look semi-retarded in her face. Look at her eyes, yikes!

I guess the twins are old enough for a good pipe job, but i cannot help wonder if they are midgets or not. Most chicks at the age of 16 have pretty much reached their adult height. Those chicks are like 4' tall.
 
I'm sorry I checked into this thread. Just when I start to think HS is just having fun....he worries me. The rest of the guys? Never gave a shit about most of them.
 
Stacey from WWE, i'd use a step ladder to get to whats between those legs,

Trish, oh shit she's hot, almost perfect....was she married to X-Pac? i heard that rumor, but i fought X-Pac is meant to be be Chyna now?
 
MP5 said:
you cannot tell me that Britney does not look semi-retarded in her face. Look at her eyes, yikes!
Click to expand...

without the make up she definitely looks like she has fetal alcohol syndrome.
which just makes me want her even more.

fetal_alcohol.GIF
 
Testosterone boy said:
I'm sorry I checked into this thread. Just when I start to think HS is just having fun....he worries me. The rest of the guys? Never gave a shit about most of them.
Click to expand...

what's your address? that way I can send you 35 cents so you can call someone who gives a fuck.
 
This thread makes me want to take a huge poop. Come to think of it, it could be the rice and beans from last night.

Anyway, I would like to take that flaming Nathan from the Old Navy commercial and beat Morgan Fairchild with him. Until either one of them is dead. Then I would like to take Magic, that fucking flea bitten dog and shove him up that stupid old lady's ass that has the giant glasses.

If you guys aren't using meat tenderizers and awls in your lovemaking, you're missing out on a lot.
 
The Nature Boy said:
that old lady is dead, which makes her even that much more hotter.
Click to expand...

It also prevents the normal wriggling around that usually goes hand in hand with shoving a large animal with claws up an old lady's ass.
 
I'm confused. Do you mean Nature Boy and Nathan dressed as Morgan Fairchild and Heather Locklear. If so, will Nature Boy be dressing up in Old Navy leopard print pajama's with an angel space. Is there any possibility that you guys might be able get your gayness under control. Don't you feel even remotely embarassed. Even The Village People and Richard Simmons thinks you are too gay. Food for thought, no?
 
HG Pennypacker said:
This thread makes me want to take a huge poop. Come to think of it, it could be the rice and beans from last night.

Anyway, I would like to take that flaming Nathan from the Old Navy commercial and beat Morgan Fairchild with him. Until either one of them is dead. Then I would like to take Magic, that fucking flea bitten dog and shove him up that stupid old lady's ass that has the giant glasses.

If you guys aren't using meat tenderizers and awls in your lovemaking, you're missing out on a lot.
Click to expand...

I don't use any of those fancy rich guy lubricants, I use the good old fashioned method of spitting on my hand and rubbing it on my tool, or whatever needs to be spit on and lubed up.
 
Morgan Fairchild
Heather Locklear
Kim Catrell
Mira Sorvino
Natsha McElhone
Veronica Zemanova
Claudia Shiffer
Heather Graham
Mena Suvari
Kim Bassinger
Julieanna Moore
Cameron Diaz
Halle Berry
Nichole Kidman
Renee Zellweger
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Drew Barrymore
etc.......
 
WODIN said:

1)Morgan Fairchild
2)Heather Locklear
3)Kim Catrell
4)Mira Sorvino
5)Natsha McElhone
6)Veronica Zemanova
7)Claudia Shiffer
8)Heather Graham
9)Mena Suvari
10)Kim Bassinger
11)Julieanna Moore
12)Cameron Diaz
13)Halle Berry
14)Nichole Kidman
15)Renee Zellweger
16)Catherine Zeta-Jones
17)Drew Barrymore
Click to expand...

1) hell yeah, I'd get freaky on and in that, and then leave her all messy
2) same as above, but some serious ass time as well
3) it would be dirty grudge fucks, but nothing too sick - just like ass to mouth and stuff
4) I'd take scissors and stab her in the temple and then spit loogies on her, and maybe suck on the titties a little.
5) I'd hit her with a frying pan and then drink all the milk in her fridge.
6) nothing at all normal would be done to her. I'd stick table legs in every orifice and then set fire to them, while I punched her kidneys and then came in her hair. Then I'd smear peanut butter all over her and leave her on the curb for the animals.
7) mostly just normal stuff. different positions and maybe some honey.
8) I'd marry her and then do totally normal things to her and love her and hug her and kiss her.
9) again, this would be a serious ass thrashing here. she'd never be able to walk again.
10) I'd pull all of her hair out and bite off her nipples while fisting her.
11) I'd pay someone else $3 per stab wound and then give them a ginsu knife set and some rope.
12) she needs to be fucked so rough that there is nothing recognizable left and even I'm sore afterwards.
13) I'd bat her fun bags around, squeeze them with some jumper cables, and then tie her up and drown her in the tub and then burn the house down around her.
14) as long as it was the tanned blonde version of her that is on a magazine cover right now, then it could be normal, legs up in the air, multiple orifice messy sex. otherwise I'd have a kangaroo kick her in the face until she couldn't breath anymore.
15) I'd fuck every orifice and then jump up and down on her stomach until she puked up a lung and most of her digestive tract.
16) I'd throw her out the window and pretend I was never there. Probably take some of her shoes and sell them on EBay.
17) I'd punch her until she was unable to talk, then I'd roll her in oats and honey and hang her by her ankles from a chain in a bear cage and I'd throw popcorn as they mauled her chubby body.

but that's just me.
 
I have to go with the new chick in the Dell commercials. I would give her pigtails, get behind her and ride her like a tall handlebarred Harley. Pull her hair so hard she would look Chinese...
 
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Brooke Shields
Brooke Burk
Carmen Electra
Denis Richards
Neve Campbell
Robin Tunney
Fairuza Balk
Izabella Scorupco
Liv Tyler
Cate Blanchett
Milla Jovovich
Christine Taylor
Jessica Biel
Salma Hyek
 
WODIN said:
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Brooke Shields
Brooke Burk
Carmen Electra
Denis Richards
Neve Campbell
Robin Tunney
Fairuza Balk
Izabella Scorupco
Liv Tyler
Cate Blanchett
Milla Jovovich
Christine Taylor
Jessica Biel
Salma Hyek
Click to expand...

Your list of ones you wouldn't fuck my take you less time to compose.
 
Vixenbabe
Velvette
New2...
Pamela
Bikinimom
Pink
The Three Chicks from Friends in a pile on
Most Porn Chicks


Beast boy I thought about posting just that but this is way more fun.
 
WODIN said:

1) Jennifer Love Hewitt
2) Brooke Shields
3) Brooke Burk
4) Carmen Electra
5) Denis Richards
6) Neve Campbell
7) Robin Tunney
8) Fairuza Balk
9) Izabella Scorupco
10) Liv Tyler
11) Cate Blanchett
12) Milla Jovovich
12) Christine Taylor
13) Jessica Biel
14) Salma Hyek
Click to expand...

1) I would press my lips against those fun bags and then just chow down. I'd also have passionate and relatively normal, albeit noisy, sex with her.
2) I'd take duct tape and rip out those eyebrows of her's and then punch through her chest caivity with a claw hammer and fill it with tapioca and then let the homelss feast on her in a Noth Hollywood parking lot.
3) I'd gnaw on her nipples until they came off in my mouth and then I'd do her with glee on the couch and table, knocking things over while throttling the bitch with my right hand around her neck.
4) I'd do her every way known to man. I'd take a week to do it and leave her sore and confused, and myself dehydrated and fatigued.
5) Denis? I think you mean Denise - unless she has a hot brother that you are into. She has massive fun bags and is dumber than HI. I'd fuck her in the ass and make her suck on my balls. Then I'd put her on a Sybian and film her for 3 days as she becomes numb and then moves over into painfully worn.
6) I'd take a baseball bat and alternate shoving it in her holes and cracking her in the ribs, kidneys, and face with it.
7) I don't really know her all that well, so I'd likely kiss her cheek and then give her $35 cash for a decent dinner and send her off in a cab.
8) I'd buy a rotary sander and go through many a sheet of coarse grit removing her face and then I'd use a hacksaw to turn her into many smaller and less annoying peices. which I'd then feed to the tigers in the Staten Island Zoo.
9) I'd have some regular kinky sex with her, no pliers or nothing. then I'd likely beg her to marry me.
10) I'd see how close to my elbow I could get my fist into her various orifi. Then I'd cut off her feet and mail them to Ed McMahn (sp?)
11) She has good and bad days. If was a good day, I'd ravage her, licking and sucking her from head to toe. If it was a bad day, then I'd use a tire iron and beat her into pizza.
12) Another one that looks like she would do some kinky shit, and if she weren't married to Stiller already, I'd ask her myself.
13) I'd do her, then blow chunky loads of man goo in her hair, and then drown her in a shit filled toilet.
14) I'd suck on her tits, and then slice her open, fill her with buckshot and leave her in a park fountain.
 
Last edited:
Nathan said:
I'll have sex with anything that is intelligent enough to believe in Jesus, so we're talking like everything from amoebas to puppies that have had their genitals burned off with a torch.

Sweet lord, i am really proud of the morbidity and offensiveness of this post. This one surely must get 5 stars.
Click to expand...

lol. This post rules.
 
CipherLock said:
Bump - This is one of my Favorite threads - ever.
Click to expand...

LOL - I was just AIMing that to PoopPacker

I loved this thread when it evolved the first go 'round a year ago.

My life was very different back then. I was on the second floor of a building.
 
Am I the only one who thinks there should be another section for 'classic' threads?

Let's do this!
 
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