Benefits of Sex

[PHATchik]

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that
romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE
EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

 

[vinylgroover]

No need to convince me babe

Just PM me and i'll be happy to administer some beauty treatment to you.

 

[supersizeme]

11. Busting a nut is fun.

 

[OXANDRIN]

sex is work....getting a blowjob is better

 

[KnoXville]

The only problem with sex is that extended sessions will leave you a 1000k/cal + deficit to fill when bulking. Thats why having a mid-sex protein and carb shake is a must these days to refill lost glycogen and keep your hip thruster muscles in proper nitrogen balance. Infact, whilst cutting the only cardio I get is from slamming my salami in various pink tacos.

 

[Big Johnson]

You wish, ali.

 

[KnoXville]

PHATchik, since your still online I have some extremely important questions to ask you. I can’t stress the magnitude that these inquiries will hold for all parties involved. First of all, my personal sources tell me that you are indeed a authentic 'country girl' correct?

 

[vinylgroover]

Knoxville.....it's taken me months to woo her......cut me some slack

 

[machaveli]

it also makes a room smell nice after your done.

 

[machaveli]

it also makes a room smell nice after your done. The smell of sex.

 

[KnoXville]

Knoxville.....it's taken me months to woo her......cut me some slack

No sweat my auzzie broly, I just have some innocent questions of colossal importance to ask her, don't worry she will be down under peeling off your scantly clad speedos in no time. But beware of the infamous knoX charm, my ultra-suave vocabulary of love normally sends women endlessly flinging themselves into my cabana.

Now where is that airheaded nancy broad, I made this post like five whole minutes ago, by now she could have washed the dishes and cooked me a pie.

 

[vinylgroover]

But beware of the infamous knoX charm, my ultra-suave vocabulary of love normally sends women endlessly flinging themselves into my cabana.

LOL, that's what worries me.

btw, have you heard from Tidy Bowl Man of late

 

[PHATchik]

PHATchik, since your still online I have some extremely important questions to ask you. I can’t stress the magnitude that these inquiries will hold for all parties involved. First of all, my personal sources tell me that you are indeed a authentic 'country girl' correct?

I'm from Tennessee, born and raised. Does that make me authentic? (I'm afraid to see where this is going)

 

[PHATchik]

Knoxville.....it's taken me months to woo her......cut me some slack

Well, I'm not easy you know.....

 

[Frackal]

i thought you were from wisconsin or however you spell that irrelevant state

 

[KnoXville]

I'm from Tennessee, born and raised. Does that make me authentic? (I'm afraid to see where this is going)

I have been informed by various trustworthy contacts such as; CNN, Seaspan and mostly Penthouse that these authentic 'country girls', frolic around the central United States wearing the following scantly clad yet suprisingly sexy atire:

Is there any authenticity to this?

 

[PHATchik]

i thought you were from wisconsin or however you spell that irrelevant state

Lol, nope.

 

[PHATchik]

I have been informed by various trustworthy contacts such as; CNN, Seaspan and mostly Penthouse that these authentic 'country girls', frolic around the central United States wearing the following scantly clad yet suprisingly sexy atire:

Is there any authenticity to this?

LMAO! I suppose I must be a different kind of country girl. That's not exactly my kind of lingerie. Maybe it's because I'm not from the central United States....

 

[KnoXville]

LMAO! I suppose I must be a different kind of country girl. That's not exactly my kind of lingerie. Maybe it's because I'm not from the central United States....

Too tame right?

How about these:

 

[PHATchik]

Too tame right?

How about these:

Now that first one is actually cute.

 

[supersizeme]

ahhhhhh yes...knoxville and his uniform fetish. a healthy addition to the board. how about some chicks in camo? i would like to picture some chicks who i can ask "do you want this cock?" and they promptly respond with, "YES, DRILL SARGEANT!!"

 

[KnoXville]

Now that first one is actually cute.

I notice you went directly for the more revealing and risque of the two. I like your style. Now that we are heading in the right direction, how do you fancy this bunch, and if you don't mind, which one would you prefer to make out with:

 

[supersizeme]

boobs are too small

 

[PHATchik]

Lol, I am not lingerie shopping with you nor do I want to make out with one of them. Besides, I dont' like either.

 

[KnoXville]

ahhhhhh yes...knoxville and his uniform fetish. a healthy addition to the board. how about some chicks in camo? i would like to picture some chicks who i can ask "do you want this cock?" and they promptly respond with, "YES, DRILL SARGEANT!!"

Her body says 'give me some sweet lovin', but her eyes say 'fuck off pervert'.

 

[Taps]

Phatchik prefers things of this nature

 

[KnoXville]

Lol, I am not lingerie shopping with you nor do I want to make out with one of them. Besides, I dont' like either.

Ahh the patented ol' hard to get stratagy. Fine PHATchik, play coy with me, I still know your sexy ways. So once again I ask hypothetically, if you had to munch out one of their punani pies, which would it be? This time lets make it even more romantic and say you were both at gunpoint and you had to pick on girl on this thread.

 

[PHATchik]

My thread started off with benefits of sex and has degenerated into my lingerie preferences? I didn't see that one coming.

 

[PHATchik]

Ahh the patented ol' hard to get stratagy. Fine PHATchik, play coy with me, I still know your sexy ways. So once again I ask hypothetically, if you had to munch out one of their punani pies, which would it be? This time lets make it even more romantic and say you were both at gunpoint and you had to pick on girl on this thread.

Words fail me.....

 

[KnoXville]

Words fail me.....

That's fine, a picture will do.

 

[PHATchik]

That's fine, a picture will do.

Lol, you don't give up.

 

[KnoXville]

Lol, you don't give up.

Common my sexy lil country flower, just roleplay with me. You have probably already looked over your choices by now anyway. Don't be shy, I promise not to judge your decision. Just don't turn into 'that' girl, you know the one.

 

[Pamela]

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that
romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE
EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Makes you very happy too!!



Thanks PHATchik!! Good Read!

 

[PHATchik]

Re: Re: Benefits of Sex

Makes you very happy too!!



Thanks PHATchik!! Good Read!

That's what I thought too! Glad you enjoyed it.

 

[Pamela]

Re: Re: Re: Benefits of Sex

That's what I thought too! Glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks

Hey BTW,
Tennessee Women are #1

Pamela

 

[KnoXville]

PHATchik I'm glad you are taking the time to really make a solid decision here. I can only imagine the tribulations and perhaps role-playing fantasies that you are preoccupied with right now.

Pamela baby, feel free to take the initiate here and shoot me you answer real quick, I think PHATchik may be getting a little timid and might need a little female encouragement.

 

[PHATchik]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Benefits of Sex

Thanks

Hey BTW,
Tennessee Women are #1

Pamela

Thanks girl!

 

[Pamela]

PHATchik I'm glad you are taking the time to really make a solid decision here. I can only imagine the tribulations and perhaps role-playing fantasies that you are preoccupied with right now.

Pamela baby, feel free to take the initiate here and shoot me you answer real quick, I think PHATchik may be getting a little timid and might need a little female encouragement.

Knoxville,
I bet PHATchik can handle this situation with no problem!!

If you look a little deeper you may have found her answer
already..

 

[KnoXville]

If you look a little deeper you may have found her answer
already..

I really don't like this hidden answers business. She should step up to the plate with both hands full, and with her cute little country accent whisper 'This is the sexy bitch I want to violate, and I would scarf that box until my tongue went limp, only to flip that shit over and tag it from behind with my 12" strap on" .. This way she could proudly state her answer and still look classy.

 

[Frackal]

Lol, nope.

actually I thought that post was made by sailor girl for some reason... i like posting while half awake

 

[Bikini Mod]

Damn, that explains my obsession then...

I need to get some.

 

[68GT350]

Ok, i'm sold. Where do I sign up?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Ok, i'm sold. Where do I sign up?

There is a service? Shit, sign me up too!

 

[PHATchik]

actually I thought that post was made by sailor girl for some reason... i like posting while half awake

I wondered why you were posting that considering you knew I was from the South.....

 

[Austin316]

PHATchiks a sex fiend don't fall for her innocent act

 

[gsxr1000]

Is there any authenticity to this?

What is that??? A bucket of shit???

 

[KnoXville]

PHATchik dear, the carnal jury is still waiting for your verdict.

What is that??? A bucket of shit???

I believe its a bucket of her freshly shaven pubic hair.

She is proudly showing off her accomplishment as every good girl should.

 

[KnoXville]

PHATchik dear, the carnal jury is still waiting for your verdict.

I noticed you ventured offline after seeing this thread reincarnate.

We already talked about this hard to get strategy earlier I believe, just answer the quandary and everything will be dandy. Otherwise you won't be able to get rid of this thread, it will be like a raging case of herpes.

 

[PHATchik]

Why do I feel like I have a thread dedicated to me or something? lol. I don't even remember the question.

 

[KnoXville]

Why do I feel like I have a thread dedicated to me or something? lol. I don't even remember the question.

No problem sugar, restated to refresh your mammary, I believe the inquiry in question was; if you had to, which sexy feminine coochie mama in this thread would you favor to make out with, and / or pursue lesbian relations with, if hypothetically, that was what you felt inclined to do and such.

 

[PHATchik]

Ah yes, how could I forget such an "interesting" question that was posed to me. BUt you're still not getting an answer.

 

[KnoXville]

Ah yes, how could I forget such an "interesting" question that was posed to me. BUt you're still not getting an answer.

My dear Phatchik, why must we play these coy games with each other. We are both adults here and this is purely between us, no one else will even know. In fact, truth be told I had a bet with a couple people regarding his thread you know, I told them that your were a open-minded and imaginative girl who wasn't afraid of boldly answering questions. I really hope they aren’t right, I had high hopes for you.

 

[PHATchik]

My dear Phatchik, why must we play these coy games with each other. We are both adults here and this is purely between us, no one else will even know. In fact, truth be told I had a bet with a couple people regarding his thread you know, I told them that your were a open-minded and imaginative girl who wasn't afraid of boldly answering questions. I really hope they aren’t right, I had high hopes for you.

Oh, I'm extremely imaginative, and I'm extremely open-minded. I do absolutely hate to disappoint you since you had such high hopes.But I'm afraid that's what is going to happen.

 

[HS Lifter]

I agree.

 

[KnoXville]

Oh, I'm extremely imaginative, and I'm extremely open-minded. I do absolutely hate to disappoint you since you had such high hopes.But I'm afraid that's what is going to happen.

My petite country pecan, your spouting an oxymoron here. You should really reconsider just playing along. In the romantic words of me on a first date; Common baby, just try it once for me, it will feel real good I promise. But seriously now, if you are all that you claim to be then I don’t see the problem here, please educate me teacher.

 

[Jimsbbc]

I feel sorry for you people who aren't getting any. I just got done having hot sex with my fiance for over 2 hours. At least staying home on Fri night has it's benefits...

 

[PHATchik]

My petite country pecan, your spouting an oxymoron here. You should really reconsider just playing along. In the romantic words of me on a first date; Common baby, just try it once for me, it will feel real good I promise. But seriously now, if you are all that you claim to be then I don’t see the problem here, please educate me teacher.

Oh, I can still be open-minded and imaginative. I just don't have to share that imagination with you.

 

[KnoXville]

Oh, I can still be open-minded and imaginative. I just don't have to share that imagination with you.

To be honest here I didn’t really care much for the implied answer. I just desired to see if you could make up something rather clever or dazzle me with a fancy display of imaginativeness. I guess the real question was answered then. Super duper fantastic. Good show, I'm quite glad we had this conversation.

 

[PHATchik]

To be honest here I didn’t really care much for the implied answer. I just desired to see if you could make up something rather clever or dazzle me with a fancy display of imaginativeness. I guess the real question was answered then. Super duper fantastic. Good show, I'm quite glad we had this conversation.

Lol. Good to know.

 

[KnoXville]

Lol. Good to know.

Don't beat yourself up kid, nobody wins them all.

 

[PHATchik]

Don't beat yourself up kid, nobody wins them all.

Trust me dear, I don't win many.

 

[KnoXville]

Trust me dear, I don't win many.

I shed a single tear.

It's that shifty Taps character, and his degrading back-talk isn't it?

 

[PHATchik]

I shed a single tear.

It's that shifty Taps character, and his degrading back-talk isn't it?

Lol. Words just can't describe that Taps character.

 

[KnoXville]

Lol. Words just can't describe that Taps character.

Just politely give me the signal cookie, and he will be taken care off.

One must never underestimate the power of an angry pack of Canadian beavers.

 

[PHATchik]

Just politely give me the signal cookie, and he will be taken care off.

One must never underestimate the power of an angry pack of Canadian beavers.

Hmmmm, seems simple enough. And he's not around so he'll never see it coming!

 

[KnoXville]

Hmmmm, seems simple enough. And he's not around so he'll never see it coming!

Its flawless trust me, noone ever suspects the beavers.

Plus that Taps personage is out of control for sure. First the child porn site, then bragging about public mischief in movie theaters, and finally he really crossed the line when he posted about stiffing granny and stealing her prescription legitimate drugs. We have no choice here, vigilante justice must be enforced .. for the children.

 

[PHATchik]

Its flawless trust me, noone ever suspects the beavers.

Plus that Taps personage is out of control for sure. First the child porn site, then bragging about public mischief in movie theaters, and finally he really crossed the line when he posted about stiffing granny and stealing her prescription legitimate drugs. We have no choice here, vigilante justice must be enforced .. for the children.

Personage is a good word to describe all that.

 

[KnoXville]

Regarding, the children, you may be interested to know that there has been a plethora of child abductions in the area of Senor Taps, and it is hypothesized that when he is not pimping there scantly clad pictures online for website hits, he is putting them to work in his lsd factory with dangerous chemicals. Just a couple weeks ago he feverently trying to push his drugs on poor Nathan, a completely innocent and drug abstaining member who was just there looking for Jesus. If trouble had a name, it would be Taps.

 

[PHATchik]

If trouble had a name, it would be Taps.

Trust me, you have no clue how true this really is.

 

[Taps]

You two are such assholes.

 

[Taps]

Oh, and Knox, since you're not having much luck, I'll throw you a bone.

The Phat one usually sticks to things like this (minus the stockings).

 

[Longhorn85]

Now, the drawbacks...

We love it anyway but...

1. Sex often makes us (at least me) late for work in the morning.

2. Sex cuts into the amount of sleep I should get.

3. Sex is addictive and it pisses you off when you want it and don't get it.

4. Loud sex can wake up the baby.

5. The love of sex can cause a man to say something he doesn't actually mean.

6. The desire for sex can cause you to act illogically.

 

[bwood]

Re: Now, the drawbacks...

We love it anyway but...

1. Sex often makes us (at least me) late for work in the morning.

2. Sex cuts into the amount of sleep I should get.

3. Sex is addictive and it pisses you off when you want it and don't get it.

4. Loud sex can wake up the baby.

5. The love of sex can cause a man to say something he doesn't actually mean.

6. The desire for sex can cause you to act illogically.

#7. waking up with your balls stuck to the sheets...

ouch...

 

[PHATchik]

Oh, and Knox, since you're not having much luck, I'll throw you a bone.

The Phat one usually sticks to things like this (minus the stockings).

Lol. Well, we won't talk about the ones you usually go for dear.

 

[KnoXville]

You both sound close, and by close I mean it sounds like you have done the bad thing.

Taps, have you ever have sexual relations with that woman ?

 

[Drunken_Weasel]

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

Is that so?....

 

[JohnyJuice]

Just politely give me the signal cookie, and he will be taken care off.

One must never underestimate the power of an angry pack of Canadian beavers.

Yes, especially if you try and take their spring water.

 

[KnoXville]

Yes, especially if you try and take their spring water.

Fantastic pick. Obviously JJ has done his homework.

 

[JohnyJuice]

Fantastic pick. Obviously JJ has done his homework.

One of those things bitch slapped me with its tail for just glancing at its creek, and i hadnt even peed in it yet. Viscious little fuckers.

 

[KnoXville]

One of those things bitch slapped me with its tail for just glancing at its creek, and i hadnt even peed in it yet. Viscious little fuckers.

Don't even get me started Johnny.

Those boisterous animals defiantly have a little 'sand in my vagina' syndrome going on for sure. Those things have no respect for nobody, they can be your worst friend of your best enemy.

Plus your lucky that little fucker let you off so easy, normally when Yankees come frolicking about our fresh waters they quickly clamp onto your sensitive gentiles with there teeth and repeatedly whack your testicles with there tails until your unconscious. Not a pretty sight.

 

[PHATchik]

And my thread was going so well...lol.

 

[JohnyJuice]

And my thread was going so well...lol.

Back packing through mini=America was going pretty well also, until those damned things saw me looking at their fresh water, glacier fed stream. They wasted no time flanking my perimeter and sexually assaulting me with all sorts of strange items they had found among the camp sites.

 

[KnoXville]

They wasted no time flanking my perimeter and sexually assaulting me with all sorts of strange items they had found among the camp sites.

I hate when they pull that shit, I truly do. It really gives a bad name to us, and seriously hampers current beaver / yankee relations. Did they use the pine cones too? Those hurt like a bitch without some maple syrup lube, and they even forget about using that half the time. They don’t even halt at once cone either, they go for a whole barrel, let me tell you, no anus was meant to hold up in conditions like that, it just isn’t within the operational parameters.