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NY Muscle
Well-known member
This can be applied to a few well known headcases from Elite...this is good shit................
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
a.. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
b.. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
c.. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
d.. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
e.. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred
to the mother ship.
f.. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
tell you which number to press.
g.. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number
you press, no one will answer.
h.. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696.
i.. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound
key until a representative comes on the line.
j.. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name,
address, telephone number, date of birth, social security
number, and your mother's maiden name.
k. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
c-a-r-e-f--u-l-l-y press 000.
l.. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after
the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.
m.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
n.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
o.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
p.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
q.. If you have low self esteem, please hang up, all operators
are too busy to talk to you.
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
a.. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
b.. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
c.. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
d.. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.
Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
e.. If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred
to the mother ship.
f.. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
tell you which number to press.
g.. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number
you press, no one will answer.
h.. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696.
i.. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound
key until a representative comes on the line.
j.. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name,
address, telephone number, date of birth, social security
number, and your mother's maiden name.
k. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
c-a-r-e-f--u-l-l-y press 000.
l.. If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after
the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait
for the beep.
m.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
n.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
o.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
p.. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
q.. If you have low self esteem, please hang up, all operators
are too busy to talk to you.
