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Research Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsResearch Chemical SciencesUGFREAKeudomestic

A twinless twins journey to sanity

claricestarling

New member
Hello ladies,

I wanted to begin by thanking all of you for the exceptional "cut-and-dry" guidance on my program. It would have taken me copious amounts of boring reading on other sites to compile all the information I recieved in just days of being on EliteFitness. THANK YOU!!!!

As I read peoples threads, I have come to realize that everyone has a different reason for getting into shape. Whether it is getting ready for summer or just trying to get back into that bikini that is collecting dust in their drawer. I wish that was the case with me. My reason runs much deeper. I am here to settle unfinished business with my identical twin sister. To finish a dream that we shared of being body builders and competing on stage together. As you will read, you will find out that dream will never come true, my twin has passed away. I am going to have to "get on that stage" and represent her and my twinness all by myself, ALONE.

My physical transformation to health began 5 months ago but my tragedy began 5 years ago. It was a sunny September day in 2004. I had not heard from my twin in a week so I went to her house to check up on her. As I approached the house I could tell by the smell that what I was about to find would change the very essence of my being. I found her on the bathroom floor and she had been there for a week. She had committed suicide by pills. I was devastated. That was the moment I became a twinless twin, that was the moment when my mind changed and my body would begin to change. Needless to say, I ended up in hospital where doctors put me on 6 different kinds of anti-depressants and sleep aides. Before I started taking them I was a marathon runner and I weighed 117 pounds. 5 years of these drugs morphed me into a weak and witless 171 pounds mass. They dampened my thoughts and weakened my body. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT PROLONGED USE OF ANTI-DEPRESSANTS WILL DETERRIORATE YOUR MIND AND BODY!!

On March 30th 2009, I was sitting in my recliner and I was thinking about my twin and all of the dreams we had of competing together when it came to me.... It hit me like a ton of bricks; I said to myself, "ENOUGH!" I decided to take my life back. On that day in March, I stopped taking my ALL of my meds, cold turkey. I tore up the internet and found a diet plan and I got my ass back into the gym!!!!! So here I am today, 16% bf/129.5 pounds and a step closer to fulfilling my dreams of getting on that stage.

I invite all of you to traverse with me on my journey. I will post my ups and down over the next 12 weeks and maybe, just maybe, I will inspire someone to empower themselves and overcome tragedy. Today and tomorrow I am going to relax and enjoy 2 long 10 mile runs and a cheat meal or two; Then Friday the "real work" begins. Who knows, at the end of my 12 weeks, you might see a picture of me, in a bikini, standing on stage smiling and thinking of my twin.

Everything I do is for my twin,

clarice
 
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First I want to say, I'm sorry about your loss. That must have been incredibly painful.
I commend you for taking the initiative and fulfill your dream of becoming a bodybuilder. You're in the right place and we're here to support and encourage you through your journey.
 
thank you thandie,

i have read alot of your threads and i like your classy approach to this sport and lifestyle. you are beautiful!!!

p.s. your signature line quote is soooo true! i totally get it!

much respect,

clarice
 
hello melaina,

i know.... thank you for the condolence. i am gettin' though, i am movin!!! i can see some light now.

i have been reading your threads and i have learned sooo much. i love the support and the positivity that you all extend. at first i felt kinda wimpy for telling my story but then i realized, its "my story." and its why i am here. i am ok and i am gonna get on that stage!

again, thank you melaina....

clarice
 
Never ever feel like you cannot put yourself out there. Being able to talk about takes a great deal of strength and courage. I don't have any siblings so I don't know what it feels like, especially a twin. I have been there for people who have lost siblings to suicide though. My mother in law was a little girl when she walked into the kitchen and caught her sister in the act of cutting her own throat. Her youngest daughter is almost the age that her sister was and although it haunts her, it has especially bothered her this year. We are never in a position to ever judge so express whatever you need, however many times you need to. WE will always be here to listen, to offer our support and let you know how strong you are for moving on and bettering a situation that's beyond horrible, learning from it, growing from it and living.

And I definitely can learn something from you as well :)
 
First off, I am also very sorry to read of your loss!! But I commend you for making a turning around, and putting your health first again!

I am looking forward to following along! :)
 
Hold on there sister.... you don't need the benadryl just yet.... won't need it for another 2 weeks. LOOKING GOOD!!!!!
 
5 aug 2009

after much research and lots of questions, here is my plan for the next 12 weeks:

8am - 1 cup green tea
1 scoop nitro tech protein shake
5 mcg clen
10 mg win
10 mg var

830am - 30 minute CARDIO (running on pavement) with sprint intervals

10am - 4 egg whts/1/2 cup oats
1 cup green tea
vit-c, multi-vit, fish oil

1230pm - 4 oz tuna/1/2 cup brown rice/1 cup brocc

1pm - WORKOUT

230pm - 1 scoop nitro tech protein shake
flax seed
potassium
1 cup green tea

430pm - 4 egg whts/yogurt (You need carbs here. Maybe ezekiel bread with your eggs?)

730pm - 4 oz grnd turkey/1 cup brocc

10pm - 1 scoop nitro tech protein shake
benadryl

Semper Viva!!!!

Yes, I'd skip the 10pm shake.
 
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