A Canadian Apology

[2Thick]

Care of: Rick Mercer, of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, CBC Television.

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, We Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.
Rick Mercer

 

[Mad4Iron]

Lucky we don't bomb your asses and take your trees Canuck

And I'm fucking kidding,I love you assholes.

Mad

 

[WODIN]

Technically it was British Troops that got there asses kicked after that blatent act of Arson on our nations capitol. We figured driving them out of here back up to Canada was enough punishment.

*Snort.....*!!!!

 

[gymtime]

I just KNEW this wouldn't be a real apology.

 

[Zebo]

You do realize that our Salvation Army could kick your ass........

 

[Saizen]

I moved about 4 years ago from PA to Toronto and although I think the comments are pretty amusing and I'm unfazed by them, I still don't understand why there is so much Anti American sentiment here in Canada. Even if you take away the war situation/view of US government policies, in general I find that there's always been much resentment here, not sure about the rest of the country though. I had a bartender once tell me to take my yankee ass elsewhere because he saw a few US $ in my wallet. Just my view as an outsider, that's all...

 

[WODIN]

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party...that's why there is so much resentment.

 

[Mad4Iron]

Really? never had that shit.

I've stayed over in Montreal and Toronto and was alway treated like a king,shit I think I've gotten laid more in Canada than in my own fucking country

I do have that "Do not fuck with me" demeanor though

Mad

 

[Lift Chief]

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party...that's why there is so much resentment.

Haha... i guess when you're geographically so close to the strongest country in the world you eventually start to get bitter towards your much much stronger and economically superior neighbor....

Canada's got more.... snow though.... so that's.... good?

I didn't even realize there was such a thing as Canadian pride.

 

[john937]

Canada will have it's day. We're going to burn up all the fosile fuels, raise the planets temperature, melt that snow; and when Florida sinks beneath the waves, we'll all move to Canada and build nice new homes with all those trees.

 

[StoneColdGold]

You do realize that our Salvation Army could kick your ass........

HAHAHA.... its funny cuz its true.

 

[Lumberg]

I didn't even realize there was such a thing as Canadian pride.

It's an oxymoron.

 

[Bullit]

I moved about 4 years ago from PA to Toronto and although I think the comments are pretty amusing and I'm unfazed by them, I still don't understand why there is so much Anti American sentiment here in Canada. Even if you take away the war situation/view of US government policies, in general I find that there's always been much resentment here, not sure about the rest of the country though. I had a bartender once tell me to take my yankee ass elsewhere because he saw a few US $ in my wallet. Just my view as an outsider, that's all...

Fuck you, stupid 'merican.

 

[Saizen]

Originally posted by Bullit

Fuck you, stupid 'merican.

How about a beer my friend...

 

[theoak01]

Rick Mercer fucking rules. and the beer part is especially true ,my aunt buys the fucking american coors light since she lives close to the border and I had some while visiting and was disgusted,come up here and try some Alexander Keiths or a good Guiness in a can

 

[rjl296]

Sorry you have mounties


sorry your fbi is worthless

Sorry I have no idea what type of govt. you have or who your leader is

sorry you're an ignorant idiot

Sorry your fav past time is ice fishing

wrong

Sorry we are better at hockey than you

wrong again

Sorry your dollar is so weak compared to ours


right
Sorry nobody has a tan in canada

less skin cance

Sorry you say "eh" so much

??
Sorry that we just tolerate you Canucks


good one
Sorry you are just slightly better than mexicans


the wit oozes out of this one
Sorry you speak french

most of us dont

 

[Lumberg]

Rick Mercer fucking rules. and the beer part is especially true ,my aunt buys the fucking american coors light since she lives close to the border and I had some while visiting and was disgusted,come up here and try some Alexander Keiths or a good Guiness in a can

I used to be really into beer and I remember finding out that all Guinness you drink in the U.S. is brewed in Canada.

Molson is a decent beer as well.

eh.

 

[theoak01]

the bottles stuff yes is brewed by labatt but it is horrible shit,buy the stuff in the can,right from good ole Dublin, I dont think they sell is in the states but it is the best beer ever

 

[Y_lifter]

I had a Molson on draft once, and it tasted like I imagine donkey tinkle would taste..

except it was cold..

 

[Lumberg]

the bottles stuff yes is brewed by labatt but it is horrible shit,buy the stuff in the can,right from good ole Dublin, I dont think they sell is in the states but it is the best beer ever

They sell the Pub Draught can in the U.S.
They recently came out with a pub draught bottle too.

I prefer the bottled stuff. It's thicker and sweeter. The canned stuff and the stuff from kegs tastes watered down.

 

[theoak01]

hmm thats weird all the canned stuff I buy comes from Dublin and is really dark,where they bottled stuff is lighter

 

[gymrat]

That was great. Who here caught the special he did "talking to Americans" that was great too.

 

[manny78]

Sorry you have mounties

OK AND ? SUPERIOR TO ANY LE AGENCY IN THE US

Sorry I have no idea what type of govt. you have or who your leader is

NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR THAT, MANY AMERICANS DONT EVEN KNOW WHO'S THEIR PRESIDENT

Sorry your fav past time is ice fishing

TRY IT ONCE....

Sorry we are better at hockey than you

FOR REAL ? .......LOL

Sorry your dollar is so weak compared to ours

AND ? BETTER FOR EXPORTATIONS AND THINGS ARE CHEAPER HERE

Sorry nobody has a tan in canada

NOR ANYONE IN VIRGINIA

Sorry you say "eh" so much

???

Sorry that we just tolerate you Canucks

LOL.....

Sorry you are just slightly better than mexicans

MAYBE BUT AT LEAST WE DONT HAVE BOEINGS CRASHING ON OUR BUILDINGS...... SORRY WE AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO HAVE SUCH PRIVILEGE......

Sorry you speak french

7M ON A POPULATION OF 30M..... BUT YEAH, SORRY IF WE'RE SMART ENOUGH TO SPEAK MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE.

 

[john937]

Last time I was in Toronto, walked into a store, picked up a package, handed a Canadian $5.
Girl behind the counter making change asked me
"Do you mind a loony?"

 

[Lumberg]

hmm thats weird all the canned stuff I buy comes from Dublin and is really dark,where they bottled stuff is lighter

You fucking Canadians! What have you been putting in our BEER!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?

 

[Big Johnson]

Red, white, and ouch!

What the hell is a loony? Is that canuck for blow job?

 

[theoak01]

Its Labatt that fucked up,they make shite beer anyways,only imported Guiness is worth anything

 

[Code]

Canada is a cold version of mexico.
Everything there is cheap and the women are even cheaper.

 

[Mad4Iron]

Canada is a cold version of mexico.
Everything there is cheap and the women are even cheaper.

Dude;A totally fucked up and uncalled for remark,No matter how true it is

Mad

 

[Bullit]

Last time I was in Toronto, walked into a store, picked up a package, handed a Canadian $5.
Girl behind the counter making change asked me
"Do you mind a loony?"

Best story ever.

 

[Jimsbbc]

LOL, you Canadians aren't all that bad

 

[chesty]

you aren't all that good either. Besides, Quebec is the largest importer of US sperm. Seems the Canadian men can't get their shit working!

 

[Jimsbbc]

Did i ever mention the cocaine crazy canadian i used to bang? She tried to bite my nose off one time when she was riding me. Total wacko and so was her family (fucking lush).

 

[AustinTX]

Funny post.

y-lifter: you have a vivid imagination

manny: the boeing comment was a little off base.

"Can't we all just get along?"

 

[guards]

I'd rather speak french than spanish....but that's just me.

CANADA KICKS ASS!

 

[BronzedGoddess]

The should rename Florida to "little Canada" in the winter time. There are so many canadians down here right now. Every other car has a Ontario liscense plate.

 

[Drifter]

Shit, it looks like we will have to start exporting a sense of humour to the US also.

 

[VicTusDeuS]

Canada will have it's day. We're going to burn up all the fosile fuels, raise the planets temperature, melt that snow; and when Florida sinks beneath the waves, we'll all move to Canada and build nice new homes with all those trees.

I agree....Atleast it will be warmer there.

 

[atlantabiolab]

Canada will have it's day. We're going to burn up all the fosile fuels, raise the planets temperature, melt that snow; and when Florida sinks beneath the waves, we'll all move to Canada and build nice new homes with all those trees.

You can't be serious, right?!?!