By Tom Torrisi
PA SportsTicker Pro Football Editor
(Last week's rankings in parentheses) (Thursday's game not included)
1. (1) New England Patriots - News flash: A certain worldwide sports conglomerate is reporting that Randy Moss takes some plays off.
2. (2) Dallas Cowboys - Was it Jessica Simpson that said Tony Romo is all business in the huddle?
3. (3) Indianapolis Colts - Apparently, Marvin Harrison has the mother of all bruises.
4. (4) Green Bay Packers - Ryan Grant proving there was some talent at Notre Dame.
5. (5) Jacksonville Jaguars - Riding momentum into showdown with Indy.
6. (6) New York Giants - Eli might have to reimburse Peyton for flying in to view last week's debacle.
7. (7) Pittsburgh Steelers - Only firm footing they found last week was on Ricky Williams' shoulder.
8. (8) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Can't remember too many teams winning without making at least one first down in second half.
9. (9) Seattle Seahawks - Turns out the best goal-line defense was a worse offense (belonging to the St. Louis Rams).
10. (10) Cleveland Browns - 189 points in last six games. Think they miss Charlie Frye?
11. (11) San Diego Chargers - Sequel to how the West was won ain't pretty.
12. (12) Denver Broncos - "Don't kick to Hester" didn't make it onto Mike Shanahan's clipboard.
13. (13) Tennessee Titans - Playing without Albert Haynesworth is like taking a bath without a drain-stopper. Water - and opponent - just keeps running.
14. (14) Philadelphia Eagles - Too bad moral victories don't count.
15. (15) Detroit Lions - Offense is having an identity crisis. It is starting to resemble the one from last season.
16. (16) Arizona Cardinals - The team that invents ways to lose added another chapter last week.
17. (17) New Orleans Saints - Mere hyperbole to call Sunday's game do-or-die? Hard to say without knowing what hyperbole means.
18. (18) Buffalo Bills - Rookie QB, third-string running back and second of four road games in final six doesn't present a pretty picture.
19. (19) Chicago Bears - New game plan: Let the other team score and kick off to Devin Hester.
20. (20) Baltimore Ravens - Team defense has been gouged for 124 points in last four. That's 31 per game for the non-math majors.
21. (21) Houston Texans - Not exactly getting bang for their buck from $23 million man Ahman Green.
22. (22) Kansas City Chiefs - Herm Edwards bypasses field goal and kicks his team to the curb.
23. (23) Washington Redskins - No team in the league needs a win more on Sunday.
24. (24) Minnesota Vikings - Guessing not one member of Vikings defense has Eli Manning on his fantasy team.
25. (25) Cincinnati Bengals - Chad Johnson finally overcomes camera shyness to find end zone.
26. (26) St. Louis Rams - Watching Gus Frerotte makes me realize where the term "under center" comes from.
27. (31) San Francisco 49ers - Scored more points last week than in previous four games combined.
28. (30) Oakland Raiders - 17-game losing streak to AFC West foes is over, so time to start a new one.
29. (27) Atlanta Falcons - In case anyone's wondering, Michael Vick's co-defendants are no longer on season ticket holder waiting list.
30. (28) Carolina Panthers - David Carr has one sack left in him, and it should come from his coach.
31. (29) New York Jets - Just another turkey that got carved up on Thanksgiving.
32. (32) Miami Dolphins - At least they looked comfortable in the muck.
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