10 Ways NOT to ask out or approach a woman for a date

[velvett]

10 Ways NOT to ask out or approach a woman for a date.


1. Don’t introduce yourself while she is eating out with someone else.
2. Don’t kneel down next to her and proclaim her to be your “leather shakin’ goddess”, especially with item #1.
3. Don’t put your nose smack down on her shoulder and say, “ ohhhh baby you smell so good, you are the woman for me.”
4. Don’t follow her as she tries to flee away from you; her back should be your first clue.
5. Ignore her if she tries to be polite as not to hurt your feelings in fear of being stalked by you.
6. Don’t hand her the keys to your “ride” and ask her to heat things up, creamy style.
7. Don’t for the love of God rip a C-note in half and hand it to her under any circumstances unless you enjoy getting slapped.
8. Don’t scream out to her, “hey baby, nice ass ya got there; can I sniff your thong sometime?”
9. Don’t corner her coming out of the ladies room and try to cup her boob, while commenting of how think your hand would be the perfect fit.
10. Under no circumstance should you “whip it out” and say, “I’m all yours sugar, I’m all yours for the takin’.”

 

[Frackal]

Well I'm glad you did not list my personal method of attack when trying to pick up women. It involves a tazer gun, nylon rope, duct tape, and a large plastic-lined trunk.

 

[Freak Show]

What are the odds of a guy like you and a girl like me endin up together?
Not good.
Not good like 1 in a thousand
Try like 1 in a million
So you're sayin there's a chance! I read ya!

 

[Freak Show]

Velvett
please tell me that this never actually happened to you. This is some bad email you got, right?

 

[velvett]

Velvett
please tell me that this never actually happened to you. This is some bad email you got, right?

This past Sunday, 6pm, in a sushi restaurant.
By one guy.
I was wearing a short sleeve, button up blouse, a long black skirt and freakin' clogs. My hair was messy and pulled up with a clip and I was make-up free. (Believe me I was not looking for anything from anyone, I just wanted to satisfy my sushi need.)


I have to give the guy credit when he asked me, "hey, doesn't your husband drive a truck for *soandso* fuel?" and I was dumbfounded and said, "Husband?, I'm not married." I fell for THAT hook line and sinker. It was the restaurant host that kept the guy busy so I could get to my friends car and bail.


And ya'll wonder why I say and do the things I do on this board.

Sigh...

 

[danielson]

sooo....whats a good way then (mental note, method one thru ten are not acceptable, theyre not all lesbians )

 

[johnny iron]

I've used number one several times. It worked. So probably scratch it off the list.

 

[Slice of Peach2]

Poor Velvette.

 

[velvett]

I've used number one several times. It worked. So probably scratch it off the list.

Um, ok. So would you be ok with someone asking your SO out while you were having dinner or lunch?

Because the person asking has really no idea of what your relationship is with your dinner/lunch companion or your sexual orientation for that matter.

 

[NCLifter]

here is what i did

Once I went up to a beauty I had a crush on and asked her to autograph one of the pictures I had taken of her through the window of her house and she freaked!! What the hell? I thought she would be flattered.

 

[TxLonghorn]

6.Don’t hand her the keys to your “ride” and ask her to heat things up, creamy style.

I have got to try this one out. 'Creamy-style', lol.

 

[cyberflash]

Re: here is what i did

Once I went up to a beauty I had a crush on and asked her to autograph one of the pictures I had taken of her through the window of her house and she freaked!! What the hell? I thought she would be flattered.

Of course, she thought you were a psycho ... u should have introduced yourself first !

 

[absolute hardgainer]

And don't use this line either:

"Hey babe, I still got a free place in my harem..."

Never worked for me...

hardgainer (driven by nothing more than the perverse desire to shoot myself in the foot)

 

[Maximum Intensity]

Got any Italian in ya? . . . Want some?

 

[HappyScrappy]

my favorite pickup line reamins:
"you sure don't sweat much for a fat girl"

 

[Milhouse]

And don't ever crawl through her bedroom late at night and say "you know I have had my eye on you for a while and think your cute. Wanna go out sometime?"

Not a very good icebreaker.

 

[tubby74]

ROTFLMAO @ Scrappy.........I HAVE to use that this weekend, it's gotta work

 

[ajc]

Got any Italian in ya? . . . Want some?

That actually used to work in high school. Girls would laugh their ass off if you said it the right way and then play it off like you're totally kidding.

 

[tomcat]

"Excuse me, Do you use Windex in your laundry, because I can see myself in your pants"

 

[Frackal]

my favorite pickup line reamins:
"you sure don't sweat much for a fat girl"

AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAAA!!!!!!