Posted by S3 on January 17, 1997 at 11:50:56:
1. DECLARE OURSELVES A SPECIAL GROUP AFFLICTED WITH A MEDICAL CONDITION:
This has worked for obese people, anorexic/bulemics, transexuals, and aids
patients in their quest for access to drugs, as well as the research and
development of new and better treatments. We are sort of like the overweight, and
also anorexics, in that we suffer from an inferior body image. We are never satisfied
with the way we look or with the amount of strength we posses no matter how big and
strong we may get. We need special status, and special care to address this problem
and would apply for a grant from the National Institute of Health to form a treatment
program. Transexuals get govt funds to reverse their sexual characteristics based on
the claim that they are a woman trapped in a man's body or vise versa. Well I'm a
massive and cut to shreds guy trapped in a moderately muscular, and slightly overweight
body- and instead of reversing my masculinity, I'd simply like to enhance it.
Govt funded gyms could be set up, with a new classification of personal trainer
experienced in physiology, but also acheiving a self satisfied mental state. Meanwhile,
we use the FDA's personal importation ruling to legally order AS for personal use, in
order to satiate our state of mental anguish, while working dillegently to overcome
our affliction, and waiting endlessly for universities to develop the next generation,
side effect free anabolic.
WE FORM A NOT PROFIT RESEARCH INSTITUTE FOR THE EXPLORATION OF SAFE SYNTHETIC ATHLETIC
ENHANCING COMPOUNDS:We get a research grant from the Govt, hire brilliant people like
Patrick Arnold to do the research. We base the need for govt funding on the fact that
such a compound if discovered could enhance the capabilities of our nations armed forces,
law enforcement officers, fire fighters, and other workers requiring great physical
strength, speed and agility. As an adjunct, we are used by the institute as the control
group using AS along with weighttraining to establish a baseline upon which the new
compounds will be measured. They do this sort of thing to improve beef yeild of cattle,
and pork, why not to improve human performance capability?
WE FORM A RELIGION THAT REQUIRES WE WORK OUT, EAT RIGHT, AND ADMINISTER A.S. AS PART
OF A RELIGIOUS PRACTICE OR WORSHIP SERVICE: This may seem ridiculous, but think of all
the wacked out cults out there that escape govt taxes, and other laws just because
the constitution calls for seperation of church and state, and freedom of religion. On
a Dateline special about prison inmates taking advantage of the system by abusing their
right to law suit, and religion- they talked about a guy who claimed to be a Satanist,
and thus was required to participate in animal sacrifice on Sunday's. This sounds like
BS but Dateline interviewed the Warden, and under a lawsuit induced court order the prison
had to furnish this inmate with a knife and pigeon's on sunday, which he would mutilate
and offer to Lucifer during his constitutionally guaranteed right to practice the
religion of his choice. Nearly all world religions beleive that the body is the temple
of the soul or spirit, and that we are held responsible by the creator for the proper
upkeep and maintenance of our bodies. Nearly all religious books from the bible to the
Koran, and even the writings of Buhdism, and Hinduism contain reference to proper observance
of diet and hygeine, and in many cases refer to the use of plants, and elixers for
the proper maintenance of bodily functions. We could research various religious texts
for references of power, might, strength, etc, and base a religious philosophy around it-
without infringing upon anyone's specific religious faith. The religion would simply call
for an enhancing of physical appearance and capability in that it glorifies the creator. If
we could gather enough empirical proof that A.S. are not only NOT HARMFUL when used
responsibly, but can indeed physically and mentally benifit the user- we could easily
incorporate them into the philosophy as a religious practice.
Some of these ideas may seem absurd, but they've worked for other groups of people. The
question is can and will we organize, and if we do, do we have the balls and the
fortitude to stand in the face of an oppressive and powerful government, and their
sheepish media following and fight for what we know is right. I'm going to open up a can
of worms here but 60 years ago, the thought of a doctor intentionally destroying a
fetus was offensive to all and thus illegal, but the minds of the government, the media
and the populous shifted to a state where abortion clinics have full protection of
the federal government behind them. Minds can be changed, it is a matter of summoning
the right legal and monetary resources to surface the issues. The logic used for placing
A.S on the controlled substance list is skewed and irrational. Id you were to carry the
same logic forward to its conclusion owning a dog should require a doctors prescription.
Follow me on this for a minute- Dog ownership brings certain physical and mental benifit
to the owner, but at great medical risk. Dog dander causes allergic reaction and sometimes
life threatening asthma in humans, parasites carried by the dog like intestinal
worms and lice can be transmitted to humans, and fleas that live on the animal can
inflict bites that also trigger allergic skin reaction in humans. Perhaps most importantly
Dog bites are one of the most commonly occuring accidents for which people seek medical
treatment every year, and in some cases involving sever attacks or maulings have resulted
in death.The american public has been trained to accept what it reads and sees on tv.
60 minutes says that young athletes are dropping dead from A.S. every day so Joe and Betty
Citizen start beleiving that A.S. are evil. If the issues start to surface in a public
forum, and the statistics show that the same ratio of incidence of tumors, heart attacks,
stroke, etc occur in the general populous of that which takes A.S. and that famous
people like Lyle Alzado may have gotten a brain tumor without A.S. just because some
forty year olds just get brain tumors sometimes. There could be a shift in thinking. John
Stossel did a special report on TV the other week called Junk Science- exposing scientific
myths created around Silicon breast implants causing fybromalgia, Crack babies being
forever doomed to lives of addiction, and the EPA spending millions to clean up
supposedely hazardous wast materials- all were exposed as the scientific community
skewing statistics or ommitting information that showed the stats to be meaningless.
I bet a religious cult of bodybuilder taking A.S. while chanting MAAASSSIIIVVVVE,
MAAAAASSSSIIIVVE would get some air time with Stossel.
Feedback and Other Ideas please: There are all kinds of seedy lawyers in Washington,
who know their shit, and would work for free on something like this just for the media
exposure.
S3
"Steroid Evangelist or Government Anarchist"